A double cash column marches through the double entry. It reads the journal. A Post Office. The ledger is posted. It is put on the scales, but won’t balance. It is returned to drawer for re-check. While books are in the drawer they cannot be kept. When they are posted they cannot be retained. Therefore Book-keeping is impossible.
Archæology
The Temple of Leonidas in Valparaiso. A papyrus is discovered. It is found to be dated B.C. 5000, and written in Scotch. Sinn Feiners at work deciphering. The finding of the key. The document is a recipe for utilizing the sharpenings of pencils to make iron joists. A limited company is formed to exploit the process. Present address, Carey Street.
Numismatics
Specimens of various rare coins. A sovereign. Two sovereigns. A half-sovereign. Obverse. Reverse. Perverse. Coins not quite so rare. A half-crown. It is given away in error between two threepenny-bits. A sixpence. It goes bang. A small coin is shown, which gradually recedes into the borderland between visibility and invisibility. It is then seen to be a far thing.
Alcoholism
A field of potatoes in full ear. One of the Old Guard at Waterloo (Station). He is conscribed. Ten years later: not yet promoted. Twenty years after: he is a private still. He distils a potato by suction. He becomes intoxicated by the protuberance of his own pomposity. He tries to say Truly rural. He attempts to uphold the British Constitution. He walks across a chalk mark. Hic transit.
Philately
A stampede. Enter an ardent collector wiping the perforation. He forges ahead, but is discovered by absence of watermark. His duplicate marches in like a lamb from mint source. He is in rare condition, having been surcharged with a plate number. He is absolutely used up. Post mortem.