But these blissful young people are apt to take too much for granted. Because Doris worships Harry it does not follow that her family are to be inflicted morning, noon, and night with his presence or his praises. She has no right to imply that every moment spent apart from him is wasted. She has no call to give up her share of household duties or to forsake her own studies, just to wander about restlessly counting the minutes till he shall come, or to spend the intervals between his visits in dressing for his next appearance. She should not look bored directly the conversation turns away from him, or exalt her idol over those who have loved and cared for her since infancy.
Young Men who Woo Maturity.
There seems to be a tendency nowadays for the surplus years to be on the woman's side. This is, in most cases, a grievous mistake. The girls are often to blame for it. In the pride of their youth they snub the young admirers whom they do not think worth their notice. An older woman knows how to heal the wound thus inflicted, and with her experience, her greater tolerance, and her charms mellowed, but not yet faded by age, she can win passionate devotion from one of these singed butterflies. She welcomes him with a dash of maternal tenderness in her manner, she takes an interest in his doings and subtly flatters his vanity, while her own heart is glad that she still has the power to please.
Drifting.
He soon feels quite at home with her and grows more venturesome. She feels her youth renewed, and they drift into {[43]} closer relations. She salves her conscience with the thought that she is keeping him out of harm's way. She makes no secret of the disparity between them, though she may avoid the cold fact of figures. He fondly thinks she will never grow old. Such a connection may be the salvation of an unstable youth, especially if she does not let him marry her. She may make a man of him, a good husband for a girl young enough to be her daughter. She will not tell him to go and marry the girl, if she is in earnest, as such a course would only call forth his protests of undying devotion to herself; but she will imperceptibly let him see that she is no mate for him, and he will think he has found it out for himself. He may feel a little ashamed at leaving her, but she will make it easy for him, and perhaps give a sigh of relief that she has been saved from making a fool of herself.
The Dark Side.
For the woman who marries a man much younger than herself there is the inevitable picture of later life to be faced. The ridicule of society will be felt if it is not heard. The advance of age is relentless and will make her an old woman when he is just in his prime. She may pray for death to come and set him free, or she may paint her face and wear a golden wig, accentuating the ruthless lines round her tired eyes; but if they live long enough both husband and wife will suffer.
The Old Man who Courts Youth.
"The older we get the younger we like them!" was a favourite saying of an old fox-hunting squire I used to know. There are old men who seem to have lost but little of youth's vitality, and whom many a girl would be proud to marry. There are others--and it seems like an act of sacrilege to let any young life be linked to what remains of theirs.
The old man disarms suspicion by his fatherly attitude, and the beginnings of courtship are made easy by the latitude allowed to his years. His experience stands him in good stead. An old unmarried man has generally either a very {[44]} good or a very bad reason for being single. The girl who marries her grandfather's contemporary will probably regain her freedom while still in her prime; but she cannot calculate beforehand what price she will have paid for it.