Amateur Acting.
I know of an Amateur Dramatic Society that has been nicknamed the Matrimonial Club from the number of marriages that have taken place among the members. This amusement does pave the way for courtship, for in no other are the conventionalities so completely set aside for the time being. Those who have thus been brought together in make-believe are not always anxious to resume formal relations. Acting affords priceless opportunities.
Making up his Mind.
Now when a man has made up his mind that he wants to marry a certain girl, he emerges from the indefinite stage of observation, admiration, or flirtation, and begins to make his intentions known. In view of the impossibility of a universal law of etiquette, it may be said that the remarks in these pages apply to that largest section of society known as the middle classes.
When a man is in a position to marry, he should be especially careful not to single out a girl by his attentions if he does not intend to propose to her, for the way in which his conduct is regarded will be greatly influenced by his banking account, and one with a small income and smaller prospects may do things with impunity that a man in more affluent circumstances could not do without the risk of having a serious construction put upon them.
"Ineligibles."
I once heard a very rich young man bewail his fate on this score. He said: "A fellow with only a hundred a year gets all the fun. He can talk to any nice girl he likes as much as he likes, and nothing is said, because people know he can't marry. But if you have a little money (his ran into thousands) {[18]} they say you're engaged the second time you're seen with a lady!"
This may sound mercenary, but after all it is only practical. When it is known that a man neither is nor is likely to be in a position to marry, parents encourage his visits to the house, or permit his attentions to their daughters, at their own risk. Not that lack of means will prevent falling in love--far from it! When parents think marriage impossible they sometimes give opportunities to an ineligible, and then are aggrieved at his making good use of them.
There are many things to be considered at the beginning of courtship. Much must depend upon the family of the lady.
Social Intercourse.