The Century Handbook of Writing

by Garland Greever; Easley S. Jones

• Weak ending: Then like a flash a vivid memory of my uncle's death came to me.
• Weak: I demand the release of the prisoners, in the first place.
• Weak: This principle is one we cannot afford to accept, if my understanding of the question is correct.

Place the important idea at the end. Secure, if possible, an emphatic beginning. "Tuck in" unimportant modifiers.

• Emphatic: Like a flash came to me a vivid memory of my uncle's death.
• Emphatic: I demand, in the first place, the release of the prisoners.
• Emphatic: This principle, if my understanding of the question is correct, is one we cannot afford to accept.

Exercise:

1. "War is inevitable," he said.
2. The cat had been poisoned to all appearances.
3. There are several methods of learning to swim, as everyone knows.
4. A liar is as bad as a thief, in my estimation.
5. He saw a fight below him in the street, happening to look out of the window.

[Emphasis by Separation]

41. An idea which needs much emphasis may be detached, and allowed to stand in a sentence by itself.

• Faulty: The flames were by this time beyond control, and the walls collapsed, and several firemen were hurt. [The ideas here are too important to be run together in one sentence.]
• Right: By this time the flames were beyond control, and the walls collapsed. Several firemen were hurt.

A quotation gains emphasis when it is separated from what follows.

• Faulty:
• "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
  Gang aft a-gley,"
  
• are some lines from Burns which McDonald was always quoting.
• Right:
• "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
  Gang aft a-gley."
  
• McDonald was always quoting these lines from Burns.