Revise. George, talking with Bill, said that he ought to be ashamed of himself.
403. Never designate the antecedent of a pronoun by repeating it within parentheses.
Wrong. John told Tom that he (John) had not made the team.
Right. John said to Tom, “I have not made the team.”
Revise. John told Tom that he (Tom) had not made the team.
404. Repeat a distant noun or supply a new one rather than use an obscure pronoun.
Not good. I felt sure that the parade would not be ready to start for an hour yet, as there were no soldiers about, and it was only one o’clock; so I decided to walk out toward the edge of town, taking care, however, to remain upon the street along which I knew it would pass.
Better. I felt sure that the parade would not be ready to start for an hour yet, as there were no soldiers about, and it was only one o’clock; so I decided to walk out toward the edge of town, taking care, however, to remain upon the street along which I knew the parade would pass.
Revise. The men in my company who had dissipated before entering the army found, during the long marches necessary in the Argonne Forest, that it was hard to keep up with it.
405. Repeat the noun rather than use a pronoun that refers to an unemphatic antecedent.