Revise. Their clothing is not sufficient for bodily comfort and is also far from presentable.
510. Put the most significant idea near the beginning or the end of a sentence.
Weak. The first speaker on the program was Dean Willard L. Sperry, who gave a short talk.
Strong. Dean Willard L. Sperry opened the program with a short talk.
Revise. There are more than six hundred courses offered to students in the college of liberal arts.
511. Keep closely related grammatical elements together.
Awkward. Cards will be distributed from eight to eleven this morning by members of the registrar’s staff at the east entrance of the natural science building to the hundreds of students who have returned during the past few days.
Well-knit. From eight to eleven this morning, members of the registrar’s staff, stationed at the east entrance of the natural science building, will distribute cards to the hundreds of students who have returned during the past few days.
Revise. This will, it is hoped, help the voter to select the men and women who are real leaders on the campus.