206. Avoid a violent break in thought within the paragraph.
Wrong. At the age of five I entered the public school. The second day in school began the happiest days of my life with a good whipping. This whipping brought into my life the best friend I ever had. After eight years of the closest friendship he passed out of my life. It was then that the realization of what a mother could be swept over me. Until this time my mother had been a person to go to when in trouble. She now appeared to me in the new light of a pal.
Better. At the age of five I entered the public school. A good whipping, which I received my second day in school, not only ushered in the happiest days of my life, but also brought me one of the best friends I have ever had, Mr. Clark, the superintendent. During my eight years in that school he remained my closest friend, and it was not until I had finished there and Mr. Clark had passed out of my life that I began to realize what a real friend my mother could be.
Until this time my mother had been only a person to whom I could go when I was in trouble; now she appeared more like a pal.
207. Discard any material that does not belong in the paragraph.
Wrong. When evening comes and his day’s work is completed, he hurries home to his family. He is not extravagant in his home, but has it neatly furnished. If the weather is favorable, he takes them all for a drive in the country, or they go visiting, or do something else which he arranges for the pleasure of those he loves.
Better. When evening comes and his day’s work is completed, he hurries home to his family. If the weather is favorable, he takes them all for a drive in the country, or they go visiting, or do something else which he arranges for the pleasure of those he loves.
208. The substance of a good paragraph can usually be summed up in a single sentence. It is often advantageous to put such a sentence, called a topic sentence, at or near the beginning of the paragraph.
Example. Of all the places for summer dreams the best is a California beach. There the blended sights and sounds form a quiet setting for fanciful thoughts. The old Pacific rolls in its oily swells with only a rippling murmur; the droning roar of the surf a half mile down the shoreline rises from the tug of waves on tons of pebbles; the white hull of a launch is dipping, dipping far out upon the water, its regular exhausts sounding faint and thin. These sights and sounds are dreamy and far off; under the mood of them the quiet mind builds sweet, lazy air castles, to be forgotten and renewed.
209. Arrange ideas in some definite order within the paragraph. ([See 106-113.])