Sir Bedivere de Vere.—"Oh, I say. How you do chaff! You never take me seriously!"

American Belle.—"You never asked me!" (No cards.)


DOMESTIC ECONOMY

Mater.—"Papa, dear, do you know a halfpenny weekly paper called Flipbutts?"

Pater.—"Never heard of it in my life!"

Mater.—"Well, it offers ninepence a column for answering questions, and they are so difficult, and we do so want to make a little money! Do leave off your novel and help us a little." (Pater can only write two novels a year, but gets £10,000 for each of them.)


WHAT INDUCED HIM TO MARRY HER?

He.—"Look! Here comes young Brummell Washington, with his bride. I wonder what on earth induced him to marry her?"

She.—"Oh, probably somebody bet him he wouldn't!"