SOCIAL TARRADIDDLES
Mrs. Gushington (aside to her husband).—"What a long, tiresome piece of music that was! Who's it by, I wonder?"
Mr. Gushington.—"Beethoven, my love."
Mrs. Gushington (to hostess).—"My dear Mrs. Brown, what heavenly music! How in every bar one feels the stamp of the greatest genius the world has ever known!"
LOVE'S LABOR LOST
"Oh, papa, we've all quite made up our minds never to marry, now we've got this beautiful house and garden!" (Papa has taken this beautiful house and garden solely with the view of tempting eligible young men to come and play lawn-tennis, etc., etc.)
THE MARCH OF PROGRESS
She.—"After all, there's nothing better than the wing of a chicken! Is there, General?"
He.—"I never tasted the wing of a chicken. I only know the legs! When I was young, you know, my parents always ate the wings, and now, my children always do!"