The form used in writing an immediate reply is as follows:
MR. AND MRS. ROBERT HENDERSON
accept with pleasure
MR. AND MRS. CLARENCE FITCH’S
invitation to dinner, at seven o’clock, Tuesday
evening, January 12.
If unable to come, the refusal should be worded in a manner expressive of disappointment. The following is the popular style:
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Henderson
regret that a previous engagement
[or illness, or an unfortunate event]
prevents the acceptance of
MR. AND MRS. CLARENCE FITCH’S
invitation for Tuesday evening, January 12.
The answer, whether affirmative or negative, should be addressed to the mistress of the house, and dispatched, if possible, within twenty-four hours of the receipt of the invitation. Having accepted an invitation, be punctual. “To be too late is a crime, and to be too early a blunder.” You should not fail to arrive within a very few minutes after the time named, say within five, or ten at most. Well-bred people, and people that dine out frequently, make a point of arriving in good time. It is not well, however, to arrive before the hour named. On entering the drawing-room, go and pay your respects to the hostess, then to the other members of the family, and finally to any acquaintances present. Do not offer your hand either to hostess, host, or to any member of the family; any offer to shake hands should come from them. On leaving, offer your hand, if you choose, to those of your entertainers that offered their hands to you when you arrived. But it is well to confine your leave-taking to the hostess and host. Do not go the rounds and take leave of the whole company individually; such a course is vulgar. If you have a lady with you, do not enter the drawing-room arm in arm nor side by side. The lady, or ladies will enter slightly in advance.
Gentlemen do not wear gloves at dinner-parties.
Dinner being announced, the hostess gives the signal to leave the drawing-room. The host or the hostess choose partners for their guests. Offer either arm to the lady. In entering at doors a gentleman takes the lead, until reaching the dining-room, when he may let the lady pass first. If there are steps, you may allow the lady to pass first, or you may go a step or two in advance. If you go down side by side, give her the side next the wall.
In the dining-room, assist the lady to be seated, and wait till the other ladies are in place before taking your seat. The host remains standing until all are seated. He also selects the places for his guests.
Sit erect and close to the table. Unfold your napkin and spread it over your lap, or over one knee, as you prefer. Before being served and during the intervals between the courses, do not toy with the knives, forks, or spoons, or with anything on the table. As soon as helped, begin to eat, but not hastily. Do not wait till your neighbors are served.
Dinners usually begin with a soup. This, you should sip from the side of the spoon, without noise. Not only soup, but everything else eaten with a spoon should be sipped from its side when practicable. The plate should never be tilted to get the last teaspoonful. If the soup is too hot, do not blow it, but wait till it cools. In eating it sit upright, and do not rest your forearms on the table.