From Feb. 10th to 20th I was in Berlin. I think it is likely that eight or nine brethren and sisters will go from hence to the East Indies.—After having been greatly helped by the Lord in my work, the first and special object of my journey to the Continent; mercifully kept by Him in the narrow path and in great peace, whilst surrounded with temptations on every side; and after having also seen afresh abundant reason to praise the Lord for all the way in which He had led me since I lived here in 1828 and 1829; I left Berlin on the evening of Feb. 20th for Magdeburg, which I reached on the morning of the 21st, and on the same evening I arrived at my fathers house.—In all human probability I now see my dear father the last time. He is evidently much weaker than he was two years ago, and coughs much more. What has the Lord done for me since I lived in the house where I am now! The two rooms where I am now most in prayer, reading the Word, and confessing His name, were those very rooms in which I sinned most, whilst living here many years ago. I have had again opportunity, most fully to bring out the truth about the work of the Lord Jesus before my father, whilst conversing a long time with a woman in his hearing, to whom I showed from the Scriptures, that we are to be saved, not by our own works, but simply by faith in the Lord Jesus, who bore the punishment instead of us, and who fulfilled the law in our room.
Feb. 24 and 25. I am still at Heimersleben. My dear father is very weak.
Feb. 26. This morning I left Heimersleben. I took leave of my father most probably for the last time. It has been a great pleasure to me, and I consider it a great privilege, to have been permitted by the Lord once more to see my father, once more personally to show him filial love and regard, and once more to set the truth before him. He has been again during the whole of this my stay most affectionate to me, as he was during my two former visits to him since I left the Continent to reside in England. How cheerfully should I have left him this morning, did I know him to be safe in Jesus! But, alas! he as yet is not resting upon Christ, though he is so far religious as to read prayers and the Bible.—After I had left him I went to my faithful and beloved friend, brother Stahlschmidt, at Sandersleben, but found him absent from home.
Brother Kroll, the servant of brother Stahlschmidt, [whom I have mentioned in the first part of my Narrative,] received me with much affection. When this brother first came to Sandersleben in 1829, there was scarcely a single true Christian besides his master in the little town. Soon afterwards he began to hold meetings, which were attended by the two or three who loved the Lord Jesus. These meetings were for a long time suffered to go on quietly; but when the Lord blessed them, and others were stirred up to care about their souls, brother Kroll had to appear before the magistrates, and was forbidden to hold them. When this was of no effect, (as he considered that he ought only to obey earthly rulers in things in which he could do so with a good conscience,) and they continued still to meet together, the police came into one of their meetings, and forced them to discontinue it. When even this availed nothing, the brethren were finally threatened that every one who attended these meetings should pay three thalers, and every one who read or spoke at them should pay five, which is a large sum in Germany for poor people. But notwithstanding all these obstacles, the few poor saints continue their meetings, but in secret, to be unmolested by the police. They have now neither a stated place nor a fixed time for their meetings. On the second and third evenings, whilst I was at Sandersleben, I met with them. On the second evening we were in the room of a poor weaver. The dear brethren would have me sit on the only chair which was in the room. It was a very small room, perhaps twice as large as the loom, which was in it. There were about twenty-five or thirty persons present, many of whom had seated themselves in and under the loom, and the rest sat on two or three little forms. These meetings were very precious. The very fact of going to them with the feeling of having to pay the fine, or to suffer an adequate imprisonment, should one be found there, makes them to be doubly valued; and I believe that the Lords double blessing rests upon them. I spoke long both times; indeed, as long as I had strength, and the dear people seemed to eat the Word.—I have so circumstantially related these facts, that thereby the children of God in Great Britain may be led more highly to value their religious privileges, and to make good use of them whilst they are continued.
It is worthy of remark, that while the meeting at Sandersleben were permitted to continue, there was no believing clergyman in the little town; but about the time that they were forbidden, the Lord sent a brother who truly preaches the gospel. I had for some hours refeshing and most affectionate brotherly intercourse with Him. May the Lord let His blessing rest upon him, and help him to be a faithful witness for God in that dark neighbourhood!
I had travelled so fast, and stayed so short a time in the places where I had been, that I was obliged to leave Heimersleben without having received the letter which I had expected from my wife there, a matter of no small trial (as those who have been for some time at a great distance from home, know it to be); especially in my case, as, on account of the Orphans and the other work, besides my family, it was of so much importance for me to hear from time to time. I had arranged with my father to have the letter sent to me to Sandersleben, by an express messenger, who could be obtained for a small remuneration. However, hour after hour passed away, on the 27th, and the messenger did not arrive. At last the time was gone by, as it was getting dark, and the person ought to have come at noon. I now lifted up my heart to the Lord, beseeching Him to give me grace to give up my own will in this thing. No sooner had I been brought into such a state, as to be TRULY content and satisfied with the will of the Lord in this matter, than the expected letter was handed over to me. The woman who brought it had lost her way in the morning, on account of a dense fog, which made her so late. I have frequently found, under similar circumstances, that after I had been brought into such a state as to be willing to give up my own will, whereby I was fitted to bear the blessing, the Lord gave me the desire of my heart, according to the truth of that word: "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm xxxvii. 4.
Feb. 29. This morning I left Sandersleben. Towards the evening I reached Halberstadt, the town where I was from Easter 1816 to June 1821, at the Cathedral Classical School. I went to a certain small inn, known to me from the time that I lived at Halberstadt, both for the sake of quietness and to save expense, as I knew it to be more like a private boarding-house than an inn. After having had my supper, the innkeeper, who seemed to me a quiet and unassuming person, came into the room where I was, and began conversation with me. After a few moments I recognised in him a former schoolfellow of mine. The Lord now enabled me to tell him of my gay life, my conversion, my subsequent going to England, and of some of the Lords dealings with me there. He listened with great attention, and was evidently affected by what I said. May the Lord bless to him my testimony for Jesus! I was thus afresh reminded of what grace has done for me. How kind of the Lord to direct me to that place!
March 1. This morning I saw an old friend of mine, a missionary to the Jews at Halberstadt. When first he went there he held meetings, which the few Christians of the town attended; but of late he has been obliged by the police to give them up. In that town of about 15,000 inhabitants, with, I think, seven large Protestant churches, there is not one converted clergyman, as this brother told me; and the few Christians that are there are not permitted to assemble themselves together. Brethren, you who live in Great Britain, be thankful for your religious liberty, and make use of it while the days of outward peace last!—About twelve this morning I left by the mail for Brunswick. The Lord enabled me to preach Christ to a young man, a painter, who, for the sake of improvement in his art, had travelled far and wide, and was now returning home from Vienna to his parents. He listened very attentively, in which I had a fresh proof that one never ought to look at natural appearances in proclaiming the truth; for I judged, before I began to speak to him, from his gay appearance, that he would quite laugh at what I might tell him about Jesus.—I saw again this afternoon, at Wolfenbuttel the inn from whence I ran away, when in debt, in the year 1821, and praised the Lord for His goodness to me since that time. Now, this evening, I am at Brunswick, and shall have again, through the Lords kindness, rest during the night, as the mail does not leave for Hamburg until nine tomorrow morning.
March 8. London. I left Brunswick on the 2nd, and arrived at Hamburg in 24 hours. As there was ice in the Elbe, the London steamer could not get up to Hamburg, and I had therefore to go alone, in a hired carriage to Cuxhaven, about eighty miles, the most expensive journey that ever I made in my life, for it cost above 3l. 10s. Thus I had to travel three days and two nights, with the interruption of only five hours at Hamburg. I reached Cuxhaven at half-past eight in the evening on March 4th.—The fact of having thus to travel from Hamburg to Cuxhaven, that being the only way in which I could have got there in my circumstances, without losing the steamer, showed me afresh how one is step by step cast upon the Lord. A month since the Elbe was cleared of ice, and now, contrary to the expectation of all, the cold had returned to such a degree, that it was a second time innavigable.
March 3. I embarked this morning for London. I had conversation with two Russian Jews, who listened with great interest to all I said to them; but I did not tell them plainly that I believed Jesus of Nazareth to be the Messiah, as I fully purposed to do at the next conversation. After I had left them, they conversed with each other, and I could see from their countenances, that they either took me for a baptized Jew, or for a missionary to the Jews, on account of the peculiar way in which I had conversed with them. Presently one of them came and asked me what I thought of that Jesus. No sooner had I owned Him as the true Messiah and as my Lord and my God, than he began to blaspheme; and from that time, as long as we were on board, they shunned me; and I also felt that all I had to do was to show kindness to them by actions, but no more to converse with them about the Messiah, in order to keep them from blaspheming that holy name which is dear to my heart. My conversation with them had, however, an unexpected effect in another way. At the dinner table I was asked by one of the passengers about those Jews, who they were, etc., as my long conversation with them on the deck had been noticed. This led me, (in order that the conversation might be turned to profitable subjects, and that I might discover whether there was a Christian at the table), to throw out the remark, "how remarkable it is that the Jews, in all parts of the world, can be recognised as such; and are not mixed with other nations," etc. Immediately the captain replied, "this can only be explained by the Scriptures, and shows the Bible to be true," or something to that effect. I now, in agreeing with the captain, followed up the subject, and both after dinner and repeatedly during the passage had long and most interesting conversations with the captain, whom I found to be a true brother in the Lord, and from whom I separated most affectionately on our arrival in London.