Dec. 7, Saturday. Only 2l. 10s. 10d. having come in during the last two days (among which was a remarkable donation of 10s. from Calv, in the kingdom of Wirtemberg), I had again, after I had paid out yesterday what was required, only 2l. 10s. 3d. left, which I knew would not be half enough for this day. Yesterday afternoon came in from Sherborne 6s. This morning I had an unusually full assurance that the Lord would help us this day again, though I knew that more than 8l. would be needed today, towards which there was only 2l. 16s. 3d. in hand. I praised the Lord repeatedly this morning beforehand for the help which He again would grant this day. By the first delivery arrived 10s. from the neighborhood of Kingsbridge. Thus we had 3l. 6s. 3d.; but for housekeeping we needed 5l. 10s., and for other expenses 3l. 1s. 5d. However, when the Orphan came with the letter-bag, to fetch the money, I received in it a letter from Bath, containing 5l. Thus we had enough, and more than enough, for the momentary need, as to the house-keeping expenses. About twelve o'clock came in the following sums besides: by sale of articles 4l. 5s. 8d., by sale of Reports 8d., by sale of stockings 2s. 2d., by sale of ladies' bags 3s. 9d. This evening came in still further, from Dublin, for Reports 1l. 2s., and 1l. as a donation, together with some prints, some books, etc. for sale. Thus we had all we needed, to help us to the close of the week, and were able to put by some money for the weekly rents and other expenses, to be met on quarter day.
Dec. 9, Monday. Though we had been helped abundantly on Saturday, yet, as some money needed to be put by, we had still nothing for the beginning of this week. Yesterday came in for Reports 7s. 4d., and anonymously was put into the Chapel-boxes 1s. and 2s. 6d. There was also anonymously put into the Chapel-boxes a 50l. note, with these words: "25l. for the Orphan-Houses, and 25l. for clothing and blankets for the poor." Thus we are again most seasonably helped, and are now almost entirely prepared to meet all the expenses coming upon us a few weeks hence.
Jan. 18 1845, Saturday. Since Dec. 9th we had always supplies sent, before the last money was given out; it was a season of rich abundance, for there came in (including the 25l. last mentioned) about 140l. Now, however, this evening, after all the expenses of the day had been met, there was nothing remaining. But admire with me, dear reader, the goodness of the Lord! This very evening He has again kindly supplied us with means for the commencement of another week. The boxes at the Orphan-Houses were opened (our need leading us to do so) in winch was found 10l. 16s., one of them containing a ten pound note. Is it not, dear reader, a precious thing to trust in the Lord? Are not ten pounds, thus received out of the hands of our Heavenly Father, as the result of faith in God, most precious? Will not you also seek to trust in Him, and depend on Him alone in all your everyday's concerns, and in all spiritual matters too? If you have not done so, do make but trial of the preciousness of this way, and you will see how pleasant and sweet it is; and if you have done so in a measure, do so yet more and more, and you will never have cause to regret it. But, perhaps, you are not a believer; if so, you cannot trust in God, and go in all circumstances to Him, as to your Father, except you are first reconciled to him through our Lord Jesus. What you have then to do is, to learn that you are a lost, ruined, guilty sinner, deserving nothing but punishment. But, at the same time, you have to remember that God, in the greatness of His love to sinners, sent His own dear Son, that He, in their room and stead, might bear the punishment due to them, make an atonement for their sins, and fulfil the law of God in their stead, in order that every one, who believes on Him, might obtain the forgiveness of his sins, and be reckoned righteous before God. If you believe in the Lord Jesus, i.e., if you receive Him as the one whom God has declared Him to be, even the Son of God (as to His person), and the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world (as to His work), and if you rest upon Him, trust in Him for the salvation of your soul, then all your sins shall be forgiven. Though you have grown old in sin, though your sins have been very many and very grievous, yet the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin. Do but believe, and you shall be saved. And when thus you are reconciled to God, through faith in His dear Son, walk before Him as an obedient child, seek in child-like simplicity to go to God for every thing, and do really treat God as your father.
There arrived also this Saturday evening, from the Isle of Wight, a small box, containing 14s. and many articles for sale.
Jan. 20, Monday. 3l. 11s, has come in besides the 11l. 10s., which came in on Saturday evening; but as, in addition to the ordinary house-keeping expenses, I had this afternoon to order material for boys' clothes, all the money which had come in since Saturday evening was now again gone. About an hour afterwards I found that two five-pound notes had been put into one of the boxes at my house, and at the same time I received a bank order for 16l. from a poor missionary brother, who labours about 3,000 miles from Bristol~ in dependence upon the Lord for his temporal supplies. Of this 16l. the sum of 12l. is to be employed in sending him Bibles and New Testaments, and 4l. he gives to the Orphans. What ways has not the Lord to help His children who trust in Him! Who would suppose that a poor missionary would send 4l. for the Orphans, from a distance of 3,000 miles? But rather must the ravens again bring supplies, as in the days of Elijah, than that the children of God, who trust in their Heavenly Father, should not have their need supplied. Thus the Lord has again given 14l. for the Orphans, when all was gone.
Jan. 25, Saturday evening. We have been helped through the heavy expenses of this week, without lacking any thing; but now we have nothing left.—This evening, about ten o'clock, I received from Barnstaple some articles for sale, and a Spanish dollar, two ¼ of a franc, and a sixpence; also 1l. and 2l. Also sixpence for Reports.
Jan. 27, Monday. Yesterday I received from F. E. B. 2s. 6d., from "Friends to the Institution" 4l.; and 2s. 6d. was put into the Chapel-boxes anonymously, ditto 10s., ditto 2s. 6d. Thus, by what came in on Saturday evening and yesterday, I am able to meet this day's demands, being 4l. 5s. 6d.—Evening. This afternoon I received from Camerton 5l., of which 3l. is for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and 2l. for the Orphans. Thus, as the money goes out, the Lord kindly sends in supplies, and all without speaking to one human being about our necessities, but making them known to Him only; yea, determined, by His help and support, rather to endure many trials, in order that through our difficulties the Church of Christ at large may be comforted, and those who are weak in faith be strengthened, than to go away from the door of our Heavenly Father to that of brethren.
Feb. 1, Saturday. We are brought to the close of another week, and have been supplied with all we needed; but there is now again nothing left.
Feb. 2. When now again there was nothing left last evening in my hands for the beginning of the coming week, there have been today, by two different donors, two five-pound notes put into the Chapel-boxes, ditto 2s. 6d., ditto 2s. 6d., and also 2s. 6d. was given besides. Thus we are again supplied fur the present. O Lord, fill my—heart with lively gratitude for all Thy goodness! Lord help me, not only to trust in Thee more and more, but also to love Thee more and more, seeing that Thou dost condescend to use such a poor sinful servant!
Feb. 8, Saturday evening. Above 30l. has come in during this week; but as there have been bought eight hundred weight of rice and eight bushels of peas, besides meeting the regular housekeeping expenses, again only a few shillings remain.