Feb. 10, Monday. Yesterday 2l. was sent to me, from a physician residing in Bristol; anonymously was put into the boxes at Bethesda Chapel 2s., ditto 1l., and ditto 2s. 6d. Also by A. A. was given to me 7s. 2d. I was thus able, with the few shillings that were left on Saturday evening, to meet the expenses of this day, after which 7s. 10d. remained. This morning I was kept, through pressure of engagements, from having prayer, on account of the work, at the usual time; but at half-past two I united with my beloved wife and her sister in prayer, and I asked the Lord, among other blessings, also for means. As to the latter, we had answer upon answer before the close of the day. For this afternoon 1l. 5s. 9d. arrived from Stirling. This afternoon also five sovereigns were put into the box in my room, which I happened to find out soon after. I received also this evening 5s., which had yesterday been anonymously put into the boxes at Salem Chapel. A poor brother likewise gave me 2s. Still further came in 11s. 5d.
Feb. 11. This morning I received still further a donation of 2l. This afternoon I received, as the profit of the sale of ladies' bags, 1l., and 2l. 17s. 4d. came in by sale of articles.
Feb. 12. After I had sent off this morning the money which was required for the housekeeping of today, I had again only 16s. 2 ½ d. left, being only about one-fourth as much as is generally needed for one day, merely for housekeeping, so that there was now again a fresh call for trusting in the Lord. In the morning I met again, as usual, with my dear wife and her sister, for prayer, to ask the Lord for many blessings, in connexion with this work, and for means also. About one hour after, I received a letter from Devonshire, containing an order for 22l., of which 10l. was for the Orphans, 2l. for a poor brother in Bristol, and 10l. for myself.—Besides having thus a fresh proof of the willingness of our Heavenly Father to answer our requests on behalf of the Orphans, there is this, moreover, to be noticed. For many months past the necessities of the poor saints among us have been particularly laid upon my heart. The word of our Lord: "Ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good," has again and again stirred me up to prayer on their behalf, and thus it was again in particular this morning. It was the coldest morning we have had the whole winter. In my morning walk for prayer and meditation I thought how well I was supplied with coals, nourishing food, and warm clothing, and how many of the dear children of God might be in need; and I lifted up my heart to God to give me more means for myself, that I might be able, by actions, to show more abundant sympathy with the poor believers in their need; and it was but three hours after when I received this 10l. for myself. This evening was left at the Infant Orphan-House an anonymous letter, containing a sovereign for the Orphans, with the letters C. T. D.
Feb. 15, Saturday evening. 6l. 1s. 4d. has come in since the 12th. All the wants of this week have been richly supplied, but now there was again scarcely anything left towards the coming week, when this evening, just before I was going to our usual Saturday evening prayer meeting at the Orphan-Houses, a bank post bill for 10l. came to hand, being the gift of an aged clergyman. Thus we have a little for the next week, and we have also been able to order two hundred weight of soap, which it was very desirable to have, in order that there might be no need of using new soap for washing.
Feb. 16. Today the Lord has given still more. Anonymously were put into the Chapel-boxes the following sums: A twenty-pound note, a sovereign, 2s. 6d., and 6s. There was given also by A. A. 3s. 7d., and a lady from Nottingham sent 5s. It was particularly kind of the Lord to send in this rich supply, because soon again a ton and a half of oatmeal will need to be ordered from Scotland, the rents need to be provided for, and I desire soon to be able to give again some money to the labourers in the Orphan-Houses for their own personal necessities.
March 4, Besides the 32l. 7s. 1d. that had come in on the 15th and 16th of Feb., there came in up to this day 38l. 17s. 1d., so that there was not any difficulty to meet all the demands. After I had met the expenses for housekeeping yesterday, all our means were again gone, and there was therefore nothing in hand towards the expenses of today. But the Lord helped us again; for two five-pound notes were found in one of the boxes at my house, whereby I am able to meet the need of this day, which is 3l.
Dear Reader! does your heart admire the hand of God in these instances? Does your heart praise the Lord for His goodness to us? Does it, or does it not? If not, then I beseech you to lay aside this account of His dealings with us, and fall on your knees, and ask God to have mercy upon you, and to soften your heart, that you may be sensible of His goodness to us. Surely if you can read this account of His goodness, and it makes no impression upon you, it is a sign that your heart is not in a right state before God. I do not expect that all the readers will, as much as I do, by the grace of God, see the hand of God in all these matters, though I could wish that they did so, even a thousand times more than I do; but yet all should adore God for His great goodness to us, and should remember that what He does for us, in answering our poor sin-mixed petitions, for the sake of His dear Son, He is willing to do for them also.—Particularly notice, that the help never comes too late. We may be poor, yea, very poor; yet the help comes at the right time. We may have to wait upon the Lord, yea, even a long time; but at last He helps. It may seem as if the Lord had forgotten us, by allowing us to be poor, and very poor, and that week after week; but at last He helps abundantly, and shows that only for the trial of our faith, both for our own benefit and the benefit of those who might hear of His dealings with us, has He allowed us to call so long upon Him. By the grace of God my heart is not troubled now, whether there be much or little in hand. I am sure, that, in the best time and way, God will send help; and thus it is not only with reference to temporal supplies, but also as it regards other things that we may need, or when we may be in peculiar difficulties in other respects. When boys need to be apprenticed, or situations have to be found for the girls, and there are difficulties in the way, as we never send them out, except to believing masters and mistresses, my soul is yet at peace, because I betake myself to my Heavenly Father. When there have been infectious diseases in the Orphan-Houses, whereby, looking at it naturally, many children might be taken away through death, my soul is at peace, because I cast this burden upon the Lord, and He sustains me. When one or the other of my fellow-labourers have left the work, and I needed their place supplied, and knew of no suitable persons, I have been looking to God for help, and that has kept my heart in peace, though this is no small difficulty, as not only can no hirelings be engaged in this work, but also, in case, the individual is a true child of God, there are yet so many things to be considered as to fitness and call for the work. When all kinds of lying reports have been spread about the work and about myself in connexion with it (though they have been very much less than might have been expected), I have committed my case to the Lord; and such things, instead of casting me down, often have greatly cheered me, because they have been a fresh proof to me, that God is at work, and that, therefore, the devil is angry, and stirs up these lies. When I have had for months to leave the work, as in the year 1838, for about four months, in 1843-4, for seven months, and in 1845, for three months, being called to labour on the Continent, or being ill, as in 1838, my heart has been in perfect peace, committing all the concerns of the whole Institution into the hand of God, considering that it was not my work but His, and that, therefore, I might be without carefulness about it. I seek to believe more and more what God says about Himself in His holy word, and it is this which gives this rest and peace to my heart, not only with reference to all the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, but also about my own body and soul, my dear wife and child, my other dear relations, the temporal supplies for myself and family, my service in the Church in which I labour, now consisting of more than 700 believers, and the state of the Church of Christ at large.
March 8, Saturday. 11l. 17s. 1 ¾ d. more has come in since March 4th. Thus I have been able fully to meet all the expenses during this week, but now hare again only a few shillings left towards the necessities of the coming week.—Late in the Evening.—After our prayer-meeting this evening four sovereigns were given to me, two for the Orphans, and two for the other objects. This is the beginning of the help which the Lord surely will give during the coming week also.
March 11, Tuesday. Only 17s. 6d. had come in since Saturday evening, and therefore, after the expenses of yesterday had been met, there remained again only a few shillings in hand, on account of which my prayer was, that the Lord would be pleased to send in something for this day. When I came home last evening from the meeting, my dear wife told me, that there was some money in the box in our parlour. I opened it, and found it to contain five sovereigns. Thus we are supplied for today.
March 13. Yesterday I had sent off all the money, which was remaining in my hands, to the Orphan-Houses for housekeeping. Also the boxes were opened in the Orphan-Houses, but only 10 ½ d. was found in them. We were comfortably supplied yesterday with all that was required, but there was no money at all in hand for today. When the letter-bag was brought this morning for money, I found that the need for housekeeping for today was 2l. 15s.; but there was nothing at all in hand. Therefore, while the boy was waiting at my house, I disposed of some trinkets, which had been sent a few days since, for 2l. 15s. 6d. Thus we had enough, and 6d. over. There came in also 8d. by sale of Reports.— Evening. This afternoon came in, by sale of articles, 17s. 6d., and by a donation 1l.