In the afternoon of November 3rd, 1845, I laid the matter before my fellow-labourers in the Church (eight in number) to get their judgment, whether I ought not to leave Wilson Street, and to build. All judged that I ought to leave Wilson Street, and none saw reasons against building.
On Nov. 4th my dear wife and I began to meet for prayer about this matter, and purposed to do so morning by morning. We asked God for clearer light concerning the particular points connected with the subject; and, being assured that it was His will that I should build, I began asking the Lord for means.
On Nov. 7th I judged, having considered the matter more fully, that sufficiently large premises to furnish all needful accommodation for 300 children (from their earliest days up to 15 or 10 years old), together with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neighbourhood of Bristol, for building the premises upon and the remainder for cultivation by the spade, would cost at least Ten Thousand Pounds. I was not discouraged by this, but trusted in the living God.
We continued meeting for prayer morning by morning for 15 days, but not a single donation came in; yet my heart was not discouraged. The more I prayed the more assured I was, that the Lord would give the means. Yea, as fully assured was I that the Lord would do so, as if I bad already seen the new premises actually before me. This assurance arose not from some vague, enthusiastical feeling, the mere excitement of the moment, but I, from the reasons already related, and especially from the commandment contained in Philip iv. 5. For I saw that I should not act according to the mind of our Lord Jesus, if I did not, as soon as I could, remove the Orphans from Wilson Street, as it had been stated to me in the letter referred to, that their living there was an annoyance to some of the inhabitants in that street. 2. This assurance that I should build an Orphan-House arose further, from the whole way in which the Lord has been pleased to lead me in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, since its beginning on March 5, 1834, i.e. He has been leading me forward as by an unseen hand, and enlarging the work more and more from its commencement, and, generally, without my seeking after it, and bringing things so clearly before me, that I could not but see that I ought to go forward. 3. Lastly and chiefly, this my assurance, that I should build unto the Lord this House of Mercy, arose also particularly from this, that, having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, I found that, as before. God, I could say that my only motives were His honour and glory and the welfare of the Church of Christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of destitute Orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. And finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, I still remained in perfect peace, I judged it assuredly to be the will of God that I should go forward.
On Nov. 15th brother R. C. arrived, to labour for a little while in Bristol, I communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the Orphans from Wilson Street, and I had his judgment also as to its being of God that I should build. This dear brother's judgment greatly encouraged me. His visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more, to bring everything, in connexion with this matter, before God. He also laid it on my heart to seek direction from God with reference to the plan of the building. He said "You must ask help from God to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of God."
On Nov. 19th I left with my brother and fellow-labourer, Mr. Craik, for Sunderland, where we arrived on Nov. 20. Here we laboured till Dec. 4, when I left alone for Kendal, to labour there for a few days. All the time that I was at Sunderland, I had very much prayer about the building of the Orphan-House, and I felt all the time fully assured, that God would bring the matter to pass. But thirty days had now passed away, whilst I had been day by day waiting upon God for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. Nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my assurance, that God in His own time and in His own way would give the means, increased more and more. While I was at Sunderland the portion which came in course of my meditation, on the New Testament, was the beginning of the epistle of James. More than at any period in my life was I struck with these verses: "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (i.e. trials) knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James i. 24. It was especially the last verse, "But let patience have her perfect work, etc." which I found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the Orphan-House. It led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the Lord to increase my faith and to sustain my patience. I had these verses so impressed upon my heart, that I could not but think God meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that I should especially need patience as well as faith, I stayed at Kendal from the evening of Dec. 4 to Dec. 8, when I left for Bristol, where I arrived on Dec. 9th. It was now 35 days that I had been day by day bringing this matter before God, as to the various points connected with it, and especially also asking the Lord for means; but nothing whatever had been given to me. On the day after my return I renewed our united prayer meeting with my dear wife. Now observe: on the 36th day, after having begun to pray, on Dec. 10, 1845, I received 1000l. towards the building of the Orphan-House. This is the largest donation that I had received up to that time for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but when I received it I was as calm, as quiet, as if I had only received one shilling. For my heart was looking out for answers. Day by day I was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. Therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. Yea, if Five Thousand Pounds, or Ten Thousand Pounds, had been given to me, instead of One Thousand Pounds, it would not have surprised me.
Dec. 13. On the 39th day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in London, and who had now returned to Bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in London, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the Narrative of the Lord's dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. Being told by my sister-in-law that I purposed to build an Orphan-House, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building, gratuitously. Unsolicited he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. I hear also that he is a Christian. The fact, that this offer comes unsolicited and from a Christian architect, shows especially the hand of God. This is the second proof that God will help me in this matter.
Dec. 23. This is now the 50th day since I have come to the conclusion to build, and the 49th day since we have been daily waiting upon God for help. Nothing more has come in since Dec. 10th, not even one penny. This morning I have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the Lord has sent me the 1000l. and the promise from that pious architect, whom I have never seen, and of whose name I am as yet in ignorance, not to mock me, but as an earnest that He will give all that is needed.
It seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground of at least six or seven acres. This piece of ground must be in the vicinity of Bristol. 1. In order that the Orphan-House may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in Bristol. 2. That the labourers in the Institution and the Orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the Lord's day. 3. That the inhabitants of Bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of God, which is so manifestly His and not mine. 4. That strangers, who pass through Bristol, may have an easy access to it, for the same reason. But then, such a piece of ground, near Bristol, where there is just now an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost in all human probability between 2000l. and 3000l. Then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from 6000l. to 8000l., being for 300 Orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and assistants. In addition to this, the fitting up and furnishing the house for between 300 and 400 inmates, would not cost less than 1500l. more. This is indeed a large sum of money which I need; but my hope is in God. I have not sought after this thing. It has not begun with me. God has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. Only the day before I received the letter, I had no more thought about building premises for the accommodation of the Orphans, than I had had during the ten previous years.—My especial prayer is, that God would continue to me faith and patience. If He shall be pleased to help me, in faith and patience to continue to wait on Him, help will surely come.
Dec. 24. No further donation yet. But my hope in God is unshaken. He most assuredly will help.—I have on purpose not issued any circular in connexion with this matter, in order that the band of God may be the more manifest. To some persons, residing in or out of Bristol, I have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it. Through this, if the Lord please, He can make it known to others, and thus send means for the Building Fund. Or He can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there may be a rich surplus towards the Building Fund. But howsoever God may help, I do desire to see His hand made most manifest. There will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labour (for if with 130 Orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is 300); and therefore I desire to see as clearly as daylight that God Himself is leading me onward.