Dec.29. This is the 56th day since I came to the conclusion to build, and the 55th since I have been day by day waiting upon God concerning it. Only that one donation had come in till this evening, when I received 50l. This donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because I am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that God will bring about the matter, else He would not give me these earnest. All my business therefore is: to continue in faith and patience to wait upon God. My assurance has been more and more increasing that God will build for Himself a large Orphan-House in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in Him.—Of late I have seen, by God's grace, more and more, how entirely unworthy I am of being used by God for this glorious and honourable service, and I can only say, "Lord here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as I am."
Dec. 30, 1845. This morning I came, in course of my reading, to the commencement of the book of Ezra. I was particularly refreshed by the two following points contained in the first chapter, in applying them to the building of the Orphan-House: 1. Cyrus, an idolatrous king, was used by God to provide the means for building the temple at Jerusalem: how easy therefore for God to provide Ten Thousand Pounds for the Orphan-House, or even Twenty or Thirty Thousand Pounds, if needed. 2. The people were stirred up by God to help those who went up to Jerusalem. Thus it is a small matter for Him to put it into the hearts of His children to help me, in desiring to build this house of mercy unto His name.This meditation I had before breakfast. After family prayer in the morning I had again my usual season for prayer about the building, and at this time it was particularly coupled with thanksgiving for the 50l. received last evening, and with entreating blessings on the donor. I was now looking out for more, as I am doing day by day, when this afternoon I received from a person at Clevedon 2s. 6d., from her grandson 6d., and from the sister in the Lord, who brought the money, the change, which she did not wish back, being another 6d. These donations, though small, are nevertheless very precious to me, as I take them as further proofs out of the hands of God, that He will most assuredly bring this thing to pass. This evening I received One Thousand Pounds towards the Building Fund. When I received this donation, I was as calm, yea as perfectly calm, as if I had received a single penny, because, by God's grace, I have faith in Him, and therefore am looking for answers to my prayers, and am sure that God will give every shilling that is needed.
January 2, 1846. This evening I received from Bideford 11s, towards the
Building Fund.
Jan. 3. One of the Orphans gave 6d.
Jan. 6. Received a little bag made of foreign seed, and a shell-flower, to be sold for the Building Fund. The sister who sent these articles wrote to me, that the moment she heard of my intention of building an Orphan-House, this text was before her mind: "Who art thou, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain."—Zech. iv. 7. Also one of the Orphans sent 4d.
Having asked the Lord to go before me, I went out today to look for a piece of ground. The armory which is to be sold had been several times mentioned to me, as a suitable place. I did not think so, yet thought I ought at least to look at it. Having seen it and been confirmed in my judgment about its unsuitableness, I asked the Lord whether I should turn towards the city or towards Stapleton. I felt led to go towards the city, and saw immediately after some fields near the armory. After having made inquiry to whom they belonged, I have been led to write this evening to the owner of them, asking him whether he is disposed to sell them, &c. I am now quietly waiting the Lord's pleasure. If His time is come to answer our requests as to a suitable piece of land, I shall be glad; if it is not yet come, I desire that "patience may have her perfect work, being perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
Jan. 8. This evening I received a reply to my letter. The owner of those fields writes, that, if he did sell them, it would be only for building land, and therefore they will be too dear.
Jan 9. Went this morning once more to see those fields, which seem very suitable. Met there Mr. L., a land agent, who told me that they would be nearly a Thousand Pounds per acre, and therefore too dear. I asked Mr. L. to inform me if he should hear of any suitable land for sale.
Jan. 10. One of the Orphans having received half-a-crown from a cousin, gave 1s. 6d. of it towards building the Orphan-House; a sister in the Lord also gave me 3s., a ring, a pair of gold earrings, and a gold brooch.
Jan. 11. Today I received from a gentleman of Liverpool, who has been staying at Clifton, 5l, and from the sister, through whom this donation was conveyed to me, I received 1l. more towards the Building-Fund.