"Will you swear that it does not resemble your handwriting?"
"I will."
"You will positively take your oath that this writing does not resemble yours?" persisted the lawyer, working himself into a state bordering on frenzy.
"Ye-s-s, sir."
"You seem less positive," remarked his interrogator; "perhaps we had better have a specimen of your handwriting for purposes of comparison."
The witness caused it to be understood that this was impossible, whereupon the lawyer, scenting his approaching triumph, smiled serenely at the court.
"Oh, sir, it is impossible, is it? And may I ask why?"
"'Cause I can't write," returned the man.
"Step down; I'm done with you," said the smart lawyer.
Which reminds me of an occasion when an Irish judge was on the bench, and took occasion, in my hearing, to address the jury.