Marcel felt that she was right; he offered her his arm.
"Come, madame," he said, "God inspires you and He will support you!"
They drove about at random at first, the countess having given the cabman the address of one convent, then of another, having no idea where she really wished to go. At last Marcel persuaded her to go to the Ursulines at Chaillot, where he had a cousin who was a nun; and he waited until she was settled there, himself paying the price of her lodging and board for a week, reserving the right to prolong the arrangement if the countess were properly treated. Julie took the name of Madame d'Erlange, and Marcel's cousin, whom he enjoined to commend her warmly to the superior, was not taken into the secret. As Julie took refuge in the convent as a lodger, she was allowed to detain Marcel in her room in order to give him her instructions.
"I absolutely refuse," she said, "to accept Monsieur Antoine's benefactions in any shape; they were hateful to me, and I no longer need any consideration at his hands. Let him pay himself in full, as he is now my only creditor, as he has everything of mine in his hands. I have nothing left but my twelve hundred francs a year, and, as I must live alone hereafter, I need nothing more. Do not let him leave me my furniture; do not let him send me my diamonds; I will not receive them. He may draw up with his own hands the agreement I am to sign, pledging myself never to marry. I will sign it in exchange for the gift to Madame Thierry of the house at Sèvres, and an allowance which you will do your best, in my name, to make as large as possible. You will also demand that neither Madame Thierry nor her son be informed of the truth with respect to my action. You will tell them that I have gone away; that I cannot, that I do not wish to receive them again, because—Oh! mon Dieu! what will you tell them! I have no idea! Tell them whatever you can invent that is least cruel, but most irrevocable, for we must not leave them any of the hopes deferred which make the heart sick, and render the final awakening the more bitter.—Tell them—no, tell them nothing. Alas! alas! I have no strength left to think or decide; I have no strength left for anything!"
"I will reflect," said Marcel; "I will think it over as I return. I leave you in despair; but I must go to get your clothes; I must prevent Julien from being panic-stricken and losing his head at the first moment, and I must reassure your servants, who would otherwise wait for you, and perhaps engage in compromising comments or investigations when you failed to return. Come, madame, be heroic! Calm yourself; I will return this evening, or sooner if I can. I will try to bring you some consoling news from the pavilion; I must succeed in deceiving Julien, although I have no more idea than you how I shall succeed in doing it. Au revoir. Wait for me; do not write to anyone. We must not contradict each other. You will weep bitterly! I have caused you much suffering, poor woman! And now I must leave you alone. It is horrible!"
As he spoke, Marcel unconsciously shed tears. Seeing his affliction and his unselfish devotion, Julie urged him to go, and strove to display an energy which she did not possess. As soon as she was alone, she locked her door, threw herself on the poor, shabby bed which had been prepared for her, buried her face in the pillow, stifling her sobs, wringing her hands, and abandoning herself to her grief so completely that she lost all consciousness of the place where she was and all memory of the events which had driven her thither so abruptly.
Marcel, returning to the cab, wiped his streaming eyes, blamed himself for his weakness, and argued the facts anew.
"When you decide to do a thing," he said to himself, "you must do it."
He had one last hope which he had thought best not to suggest to Julie, namely, to prevail upon Monsieur Antoine. He drove to his house first; but he wasted there all the eloquence of his heart and his reason. The selfish fellow was happy, triumphant; he was drinking his revenge with gusto, and he did not propose to leave a drop in the bottom of the glass. All that Marcel could obtain, after exchanging many reproaches and invectives, was that Julien and his mother should be left in ignorance of the bargain by which they were made rich.
"You are trying to do a very difficult thing," he said; "do not make it impossible. Madame d'Estrelle is the only one who has submitted thus far. Julien would surely resist; deceive him unless you wish to make Julie's submission useless to your vengeance."