"What have you been drinking?"
"A vermouth cocktail," said the Secretary.
"Domestic or imported?"
"Neither; the Captain treated," said the Secretary.
"It looks to me much like foreign spirits," said the man.
"Do you wish to open me further and see?" inquired the Secretary.
Then the man waded into the Secretary's other trunks, two-stepped over his negligee shirts, waltzed through his waist-coats and did a polka amidst the ruins of his dress suit.
"What is the verdict?" said the Secretary after the battle was over.
"Not guilty, but you might be," said the man, smiling briefly.
As the Secretary walked out the Stars and Stripes seemed to bow politely at him and whisper with a voice slightly sarcastic: "You for the seat away back!"