"Curthis, my frind," said the captain, as he returned to his seat, "be the holy poker-r! you possess a rale jewel of a wife. She's the most amiable lady I ever knew and takes her potheen without any nonsense. Be Jove! she's an ornamint in a jintleman's household; and we'll dhrink her health in a bumper!"
"With all my heart," exclaimed Frank, already more than half-seas over. "But, I say, captain—do you know that I'm getting very tired of the life we're leading? I wish we could put an end to it somehow or another."
"Be the power-rs! and that's the very thing I was going to recommend to ye, Frank!" cried the captain, who was more affected by liquor on this particular night than ever he had been before since the first moment he had taken up his abode in Baker Street.
"But—how can it be done?" hiccoughed Curtis.
"Is it how the thing's to be done!" cried O'Blunderbuss. "Can't ye, now, bolt off to France to-morrow night, and lave me in charge of the house? I'll manage to sell every stick to a broker; and then it's myself that'll bring over the wife, the children, and the money to ye as safe as if they were all my own!"
"I don't like the idea of going away alone, captain," observed Frank, as he refilled his tumbler. "But suppose we talk the matter over to-morrow—when we've slept off the effects of the toddy!"
"Be Jasus! the toddy has no effects upon me!" exclaimed O'Blunderbuss, who nevertheless sate very unsteadily in his chair, his body swaying to and fro in spite of all his efforts to the contrary.
The conversation now languished; but the drinking was maintained, until Frank Curtis suddenly fell from his seat in a vain attempt which he made to reach the whiskey-bottle. The captain burst out into a roar of laughter, and while endeavouring to pick up his companion, rolled completely over him. He however managed, by means of many desperate efforts, to place the young gentleman upon the sofa, where he left him to repose in peace; and, taking up a candle, he staggered out of the room, muttering to himself, "Be the power-rs! if I didn't know—hic—that it was impos—sossible—hic—I should say that I—hic—was—dhrunk!"
This was a conclusion which the captain was by no means willing to admit; and, in order to convince himself that he was perfectly sober and knew what he was about, he proceeded to examine the front-door according to his invariable custom ere retiring to rest.
"Well, be the power-rs!" he murmured, as he stood contemplating the door with all the vacancy of inebriation; "it's John that's a clever fellow—hic—afther all—hic! Be Jasus! and it's two chains he's put up—and two bolts at the top—hic—and two bolts at the bottom—hic—and, be the holy poker-r!" exclaimed the captain aloud, his face expanding with an expresion of stupid joy; "the house is safe enough—hic—for there's two doors!"