Supremely happy at having made this discovery, and moreover fancying himself to be lighted by two candles—in a word, seeing double in every respect,—the gallant officer staggered along the passage, and commenced the ascent of the staircase, which appeared to have become wondrously steep, ricketty, and uneven. Stumbling at every step, and muttering awful imprecations against the "thunthering fool of a carpenter that had built such a divil of a lath-er," Captain O'Blunderbuss contrived to reach the first landing in safety; but, his foot tripping over the carpet, he fell flat down, extinguishing the light of the candle, though at the same time giving his head such a knock against the balustrades, that a million meteoric sparks flashed across his visual organs.
"Blood and hounds!" growled the gallant gentleman; "there must either be an airthquake—hic—or else, be the power-rs! I'm—hic—raly—hic—dhrunk!"
Picking himself up, the captain groped about for the staircase; and, finding it with some little trouble, he continued his ascent in a pleasing state of uncertainty as to whether he were walking on his head or on his feet, but with the deeply settled conviction that he was spinning round at a most terrific rate.
"Capthain O'Bluntherbuss," he said, apostrophising himself, as he staggered along, "is this raly you or another person? If it's yourself it is—hic—I—I'm ashamed of ye, be the holy poker-r; and I've a precious good mind—hic—to give ye a dacent dhrubbing, captain—hic—O'—hic—Bluntherbuss."
Thus soliloquising, the martial gentleman reached the second landing; but here he paused for a few minutes in a state of awful doubt as to which way he should turn in order to reach his own room. He knew that his door must be somewhere close at hand; though whether to the right or to the left, he could not for the life of him remember. At length he began to grope about at a venture; and, having encountered the handle of a door, he hesitated no longer, but entered the chamber with which the said door communicated.
CHAPTER CIII.
THE SURPRISE.—A CHANGE OF SCENE.
It was about half-past three o'clock in the morning, and profound silence reigned in Baker Street, when four men, bearing a ladder upon their shoulders, passed like phantoms through the obscurity of the thoroughfare, and halted in front of Mr. Curtis's house; where their operations, so far from being at all ghost-like, assumed very much the appearance of those proceedings which are carried on by creatures of flesh and blood.
Thieves, however, they were not: but sheriff's-officers they were,—being our old friends Mac Grab and Proggs, assisted by two other queer-looking fellows of the species which chiefly abounds in the tap-rooms and parlours of public-houses in Chancery Lane.
Mr. Mac Grab having satisfied himself by a close scrutiny of the number on the front-door, that they had pitched upon the right house, the ladder was forthwith placed against the little iron railings forming the balcony at the drawing-room window; and Mr. Proggs was ordered to mount first. But Mr. Proggs, having perhaps recently studied some book upon etiquette, would not think of preceding his master; and Mr. Mac Grab was doubtless too meek a man to take upon himself the post of honour. As for the two underlings, they very bluntly assured Mr. Mac Grab that they would see him unpleasantly condemned before they would venture first; and thus the entire project was threatened with discomfiture, when Proggs, overcoming his fears, consented to lead the way.
Up the ladder did this hero accordingly drag himself; and had he lost his life in the desperate deed, the epic muse would have been compelled to deplore the death of the last of the famous house of Proggs. But fortune beamed upon Proggs, though the moon did not; and he reached the balcony in safety. Mac Grab ascended next—and the two subordinates followed,—by which time the intrepid Proggs had obtained admission into the house by the simple process of cutting out a pane with a glazier's diamond, and thrusting in his hand to undo the fastening of the window.