The people began to kneel down to Pa and worship him, but Pa said it made him sick to smell that stuff cooking, and he told us that he felt our end had come, ’cause we had landed in a cannibal country, and they would cook us and eat us as sure as cooking.
Pa said if they roasted him and tried to eat him they would find they had a pretty tough proposition, but he thought the cowboy and I would make pretty good eating.
We got our Winchesters and revolvers off the airship and got ready to fight if necessary, when suddenly all of the negroes, dwarfs and full-grown negroes, got down on the ground and kissed the earth, all in two lines, and up to the far end of the line, near the king’s house, out came the king of the tribe, dressed like a vaudeville performer, and he marched down between the lines with stately tread towards Pa and the cowboy and your little Hennery.
He had on an old plug hat, fifty years old at least, evidently only worn on occasions of ceremony, and the rest of him was naked, except a shirt made of grass, which was buckled around his waist, and he carried an empty tomatoe can in one hand and a big oil can, such as kerosene is shipped in, in the other, and around his neck was a lot of empty pint beer bottles strung on a piece of copper wire, and he had his nose and ears pierced, and in the holes he wore tin tags that came off of plugs of tobacco.
He was a sight sure enough, but he was as dignified as a southern negro driving a hack. Pa kept his nerve with him, rolled a cigarette, scratched a match on the seat of his pants and lighted it, and blew smoke through his nostrils and looked mad as he laid his Winchester across his left arm. The cowboy was trembling, but he had his gun ready, and I was monkeying with an automatic revolver, and the King came right up to Pa and looked Pa over, and walked around him, making signs. Then he looked at the airship and gas bag and sniffed at the feast cooking, and finally his eye fell on the dwarf, who had been mourned as dead, and he called the dwarf one side to talk to him, and Pa said to the dwarf, “Tell him we have just dropped down from Heaven to inspect the tribe and take an account of stock.” The king and the dwarf talked awhile, and then the king came up to Pa and got down on his knees and in pigeon English, broken by sobs, he informed Pa that he recognized that Pa had been sent from Heaven to take the position of king of the tribe, and he announced to the tribe that gathered around him that he abdicated in Pa’s favor, and turned his tribe, lands, stock and mines over to the Heaven-sent white man, and for them to look upon Pa as king and escort him to the palace and turn over to him all his property, wives, ivory, copper and gold, and he would go jump in the lake, and in token of abdication he turned over to Pa the plug hat, and was taking off the beer bottles from around his neck when Pa stopped the deal and said he would take charge of the property and the palace, but he would not have the wives or the hat, and he would try to govern the tribe so it would soon take its place besides the kingdoms of Europe, but the old king must sit on his right hand as adviser and friend and run the family.
The king agreed, and the tribe escorted Pa and the cowboy and me to the palace and placed Pa on the throne, the cowboy on the left, the old king on the right and me at Pa’s feet, and then about one hundred of the king’s wives came in with cow tails tied around their waists and danced before Pa, and Pa covered his eyes and said to the cowboy, “Take this thing easy and don’t get rattled and we will get out of it some way, but I’ll be cussed if I eat any of that roasted nigger.”
After they danced awhile a tom-tom sounded afar off and the crowd started for the feast, and some niggers brought in a tray of meat for us, but Pa said we were vegetarians and the great Spirit would be offended if we ate meat, and Pa made a sign of distress, and they took away the boiled ham of a colored person and brought us some green corn and sweet potatoes, and then they all drank something out of gourds, and all got drunk except the old king and Pa and the cowboy.
When everybody was good and drunk Pa called us all into executive session and took charge of the affairs of the tribe, and we were assigned to a room, as it was night, and when we got in and shut the door Pa says to the cowboy, “How does this compare with life with the Digger Indians?” and the cowboy said, “This takes the cake,” and Pa examined the old king’s valuables and found gold enough to pay the national debt, and diamonds by the quart, as big as walnuts, and Pa said, “This sure looks good to me, and we will tarry a while. You plug up that gas bag so no guilty gas can escape, and some day we will load up with diamonds and things and make a quick get away.”