The Boy’s Pa Becomes King Over the Negroes—Pa Shows the Natives How to Dig Wells—Pa Teaches the Natives to Become Soldiers—The Boy Uses a Dozen Nigger Chasers and Some Roman Candles—The Boy, His Pa and the Natives Assist at the 4th of July Celebration.
This being a king over a few thousand negroes, the position Pa holds, with the regular king of the tribe reduced to the occupation of interpreter to the white king, has its drawbacks, and Pa is getting pretty sick of it, the cowboy that it with us is discouraged, and I have no one to play with but some coons who never cared for anything but to feast on human flesh, sleep and fight among themselves, so Pa is arranging to skip out some morning with the airship when we get our hands on the gold and diamonds this tribe have hidden around the camp. But in the meantime we are educating these Africans into the methods of civilization.
Pa has issued an edict that the eating of human flesh must cease, and he has explained to them that the Great Spirit will have it in for any person that kills except in self defense, and that all who are cannibals will never get to Heaven, and the whole tribe has sworn off on eating the bodies of human beings, and Pa has taught them the way to broil a beef steak, and they can’t get enough of it. They never knew what it was to eat the flesh of cattle, but just raised cattle for the hides, and to sell at the Railroad stations, but they never knew what the white buyers did with the cattle.
Pa has showed them how to dig wells, and get good water to drink, instead of drinking surface water and liquor made out of some kind of berries, that makes you drunk to smell of it.
The cowboy has got a buffalo trained to ride and a zebra that acts like a regular cow pony of the plains.
The cowboy came near to getting us in trouble by getting drunk on the berry juice. He got on the zebra with his lariat rope and put the spurs to the animal and rode through the camp and threw his rope over the old ex-king and tightened it up around his neck, just to show what he could do, and the zebra ran away and dragged the king through the chaparral and came near killing him, but Pa explained to the old king that the cowboy was the agent of the Great Spirit, and was trying out the king to see if he had patience, and could take a joke without letting his angry passions rise, and that if he could and could smile at adversity, he would be looked upon as one of the elect.
Pa Explained to the Old King That the Cowboy Was the Agent of the Great Spirit.
Pa told him that often King Edward, Emperor William and the Czar of Russia were roped and dragged around by the neck, and they enjoyed it.
Pa’s diplomatic talk to the negro king so impressed him that he wanted the cowboy to rope Pa, and drag him some, but Pa pointed his finger to the sky and said he was so good that no rope could touch him. Gee, but those niggers are easy marks.