"Perch was horrified at the revelations of the mirror. He rushed from the house in a fit of desperation."
"To put his burning bush under a pump?"
"Thoroughly disgusted with his red hair, he consulted a barber, who undertook, for an adequate pecuniary consideration, to impart to it a sable hue, by the application of certain dyes. Perch left the shop with a fine suit of black hair, as glossy as the plumage on the bosom of a raven; but in the afternoon of the following day the color was suddenly and mysteriously changed to a pea-green. He was on a promenade at the time, and, not being aware of this sudden and remarkable metamorphosis, he encountered the same young ladies and escorted them home. But when he entered the house and laid aside his hat, his head looked very much like an early York cabbage. Self-control was out of the question. The mirth of the young maidens was so immoderate that they almost went into convulsions, and the graceful and accomplished youth hurried away, boiling with indignation. Upon consulting his mirror, he perceived his dreadful condition. He passed a sleepless night in intense agony. Next day he barricaded his door and was not to be seen. He remained for a whole week in solitary confinement, brooding over his misfortune. The unhappy youth finally became hypochondriacal, and you know that while in this condition the mind is often under the dominion of sad and unaccountable illusions."
"I am aware of that. Our housekeeper once imagined she was a teapot, and sat for a whole day with one arm akimbo, as the handle, and the other projected from her person to represent the spout. She gave a vast deal of trouble, and was continually admonishing the servants not to come near her lest they might upset her and break her to pieces. And only last winter old Crabstick got a strange notion in his head that he was a dog. One day, when I called to see Ida, he got down on all fours and barked obstreperously, and bit Scipio, his negro man, on the calf of his leg. I had to leave the house in a hurry to escape from his canine ferocity."
"The illusion of Perch was equally as extraordinary. After brooding over his misfortune for a whole week, he imagined he was a donkey."
"Imagined he was a donkey?"
"Yes; a monstrous donkey."
"Was it all imagination, Toney?"
"Be that as it may; I know that he created much annoyance among the neighbors; for he commenced braying in a most extraordinary manner. His friends gathered around him and endeavored to reason him out of his unhappy delusion, but all to no purpose, for he had got the idea in his head that he was a prodigious jackass, and the more they talked to him the more loudly he would bray. He refused his natural food, and demanded to be led to the stable, that he might have a manger, and be fed on provender suitable for animals of the asinine species. The doctors had much trouble with him, and tried various remedies without any apparent good result. They finally determined to drench him with strong brandy, and the potency of this fluid soon restored him to a more happy condition of body and mind. He recovered, and sent for the distinguished lawyer, M. T. Pate, and by his advice brought suit against the barber, laying the damages at one thousand dollars."
"For what?"