"For injury done to the young man's head. The barber was dreadfully frightened at the prospect of a ruinous litigation, and solicited my professional services. M. T. Pate exerted himself to the utmost, and, in a carefully prepared and eloquent speech, endeavored to demonstrate to the jury how great an injury had been done to his client's head; at the same time denouncing the author of the outrage in terms of unmeasured vituperation. But his efforts were of no avail, for I was prepared with the proof, and had put more than a dozen witnesses on the stand, all of whom swore that the young man looked much better with his head of a pea-green color than he did when it was of a fiery red. In consequence of this testimony the jury came to the conclusion that the plaintiff had sustained no injury and was entitled to no damages. They rendered a verdict in favor of the defendant, and M. T. Pate's client not only had to pay the costs of the suit, but went by the name of the 'Long Green Boy' ever afterwards."
"Mr. Belton, I am exceedingly glad to see you," said a tall, raw-boned man, with a keen, dark eye, a Roman nose, and a swarthy visage.
"Mr. Seddon," said Toney, "let me introduce you to Captain Bragg, a famous traveler, who has seen more of this terrestrial globe than we have ever read of."
Seddon shook hands with the distinguished cosmopolite, and remarked that the weather was extremely hot.
"Hot!" said Bragg. "My dear sir, do you call it hot? You should have been with me when I was once invited by her Majesty the Queen of Madagascar to a royal feast. As we sat at table under an awning, huge pieces of the most delicious beef were served up, which had been roasted by being exposed to the vertical rays of a tropical sun. That was what I would call hot weather, Mr. Seddon. But, by the powers of mud! what is that?"
A loud noise and trampling of feet were heard in the hall. The door flew open, and women shrieked and men stood aghast, as a horrible apparition entered the ball-room. It seemed like an ugly demon with two heads. The monster rushed among the dancers, howling and screeching, and creating the most extraordinary confusion. Ladies, with loud cries, clung to their partners for protection, as with unearthly yells the two-headed monster rushed around. All seemed to lose presence of mind except Toney Belton, who tripped up the heels of the hideous intruder, and it fell on the floor. Then was witnessed a fearful conflict. While the women scampered away, and ran screaming through the hall, the men gathered around, and soon recognized the belligerents. It was Ned Botts, engaged in a hand-to-hand encounter with a gigantic and ferocious monkey belonging to Captain Bragg. The creature had escaped from confinement and had perched itself on the stairway in the hall. As Botts, after having enjoyed a mint-julep, was returning from the refreshment-room, it sprang upon his shoulders and seized him by the hair. Terrible was the combat between Botts and the monkey. Each made the most ugly grimaces and exhibited the most deadly ferocity. Botts grappled his antagonist by the throat, and the fight would have ended in a tragedy had not Bragg interfered.
Maddened with passion, Botts sprang to his feet and put himself in a boxing attitude, whereupon Bragg knocked him down. The gentlemen present now interposed, and Botts was carried off, loudly vociferating, and swearing vengeance against Bragg and his monkey.