PESSIMIST One who paints things blue. And sometimes red.
PHILISTINE In Bible times, one who worried the children of Israel; today, one who worries only himself. From Grk. phloios, bark, and tino, to punish. One who barks to punish.
PHILANTHROPIST One who returns to the people publicly a small percentage of the wealth he steals from them privately.
PHILOSOPHER One who instead of crying over spilt milk consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.
PHILOSOPHY Something that enables the rich to say there is no disgrace in being poor.