And although Kings be free from checke, and may doe what they list: Yet, I could never commend King Manfrede, Whoe ever more used, to suite him selfe in greene. Wee must then have a care, that our apparell be not onely wel made for the bodie: but that it be meete for our calling. And withall, it be suche, as the countrie doth use, where wee live. For, As in divers places be divers measures, and yet bying and selling every where used: So in sundry landes be sundrie customes, and yet every where a man may behave him, and apparell him selfe, soberly and comely.
These same feathers, which the Neapolitanes and Spaniardes be wont to weare, and braveries and Embroderies: have but ill place amongest grave gowned men, & the attires that Citizens doe weare. But their Armour and weapons become suche place a greate deal worse. So that, looke what hapely might be allowed in Verona, would not, perchaunce, be suffered in Venice. For as muche as these gallants, all begarded, and huffing in fethers, & warlike fellowes, would not doe well, in this Noble Citie so peacefull & Civil. Suche kinde of people be rather, in maner, like nettles and burres, amongest good and sweete garden flowers, And therefore, they come out of season to men that medle with graver matters then they doe.
I would not have a gentleman to runne in the streate, nor go to fast: for that is for lackies, and not for gentlemen to doe. Besides that, it makes a man weary, sweate, and puffe: which be very unsightly things for suche men to doe. I would not yet have a man go so softe and demurely, as a maide or a wife. And when a man walkes, it is no good sight to see a man shake his bodie to muche, nor to hold his handes bare and emptie: nor yet cast & fling his armes up & downe, in such sort as a man would weene, hee were soweing of Corne in the field: nor Stare in a mans face, as if he had spied a mares nest.
"Ther be some again, in their gate pul up their fete as high as a horse yt hath ye spaven: yt a man would think they did pluck their fete forth of a bushell. Other againe stampe their feete so harde on the ground: that they make allmoste asmuche noise as a carte. Another goes as if he were splay footed. And suche a one quivers with his legges, as he stands. Some other againe, at every foote, stoope to stroke up their hose as they goe. And some set their handes to their sides, and jet up & downe like a Pecocke: which fashions doe muche offend men: not as well, but as ill beseeming a man to use them." For, if your horse, perchaunce, doe champe and play on the bit, and gape or lill out his tounge, albeit this geve little proofe of his goodnes: yet it commends him well to the sale: and you shoulde finde a misse of it, if it were otherwise: not bycause ye horse should be ther fore the worse: but bycause he should shew the lesse courage and pleasure. Now, if it stand so, that Comelines and Grace, be so much made of in beasts, and also in things without life or sense, as experience doth shewe, that, Two things of equall goodnes & comodities, beare not for all that, a like price, if a man doe beholde a finer proportion & bewtie, more in the one then he sees in the other: How muche then more, should it be estemed and commended in men, capable of Reason.
"It is a rude fashion for a man to clawe or scratche him selfe, when he sitteth at the table. And a man should at such time have a very greate care yt he spit not at all. But, if neede inforce him, then let him doe it, after an honest sorte." I have heard tell, many times, of suche countries that be so sober: that they doe never spitt. And what should then let us, but we may well forbeare it for suche a little while. We must also beware we doe not eate so greedily, that wee get the hicket, or belche withall: as some that feede so fast, that they noy the company with it: they blowe and puffe so loud. Likewise, you must not rubbe your teeth with your napkin, & much lesse with your fingers. For these be trickes for a sloven. Neither must you openly rince your mouth wt the wine, and then spit it fourthe. Neither is it gentleman like, to carry a sticke in your mouth from the table when you rise, like ye birde that builds her a nest: or put it in your eare, for that is a Barbars tricke.
And to weare a toothpicke, about your necke: of all fashions that is ye worst. For, besides that it is a bauld Jewell for a gentleman to pull forth of his bosome, and putteth men in mind of those Tooth-drawers, that sit one their benche in the stretes: it makes "men also to thinke, that the man loves his belly full well, and is provided for it. And I see no reason, why they should not aswell carry a spoone, about their neckes, as a toothepicke."
It is a rude fashion besides, to leane over the table, or to fill your mouth so ful of meate, that your cheekes be blowne up wtall: neither must you by any maner of meanes, give another man to know what pleasure you take, in the meate or the wine. For yt it is for Taverners and Bousers, to use suche fashions. And to entertaine men yt sit at your table, with these words: "You eate nothing this morning. There is nothing that likes you." Or, "tast you of this or of that:" I doe not allowe of these fashions, although they be commonly received and used of all men. For, albeit by these meanes, they shewe they make much of those they have invited unto them: yet, many times, they make men to leave to eate wher they would. "For, it geves them to thinke, they have their eyes, allwayes uppon them, and that makes them ashamed to feede."
Againe, I doe not like it, that a man shall take uppon him to be a carver of any meate that stands before him: if he be not muche the better man, that is the carver: that he to whome he carves, may thinke he receiveth some credite & honour by it. For, Amongest men that be of like condition and calling, it makes a hart burning: that he that playes the carver, should take more uppon him then another. And otherwhile, yt which hee carveth, doth not like him to whom it is geven. And more then this, by this meanes he sheweth, that the feaste is not sufficiently furnished, or at least not well disposed in order, when some have muche, & other none at all. And ye Maister of the house, may chaunce to take displesure at that, as if it were done to doe him shame. Neverthelesse in these matters, a man must demeasne him self, as common use and custome will allowe, and not as Reason & duetie would have it. And I would wishe a man rather to erre in these points with many, then to be singular in doing well. But whatsoever good maner there be in this case, thou must not refuse it, whatsoever is carved unto thee. For it may be thought thou doest disdaine it, or grunt at thy carver.
Now, to drink all out to every man: which is a fashion as litle in use amongst us, as ye terme it selfe is barbarous & straunge: I meane, Ick bring you, is sure a foule thing of it selfe, & in our countrie so coldly accepted yet: yt we must not go about to bring it in for a fashion. If a man doe quaffe or carrouse unto you, you may honestly say nay to pledge him, & geveing him thankes, confesse your weakenesse, that you are not able to beare it: or else, to doe him a pleasure, you may for curtesie taste it: and then set downe the cup to them that will, and charge your selfe no further. And although this, Ick bring you, as I have heard many learned men say, hath beene an auncient custome in Greece, and that the Graecians doe muche commend a goodman of that time, Socrates, by name, for that hee sat out one whole night long, drinking a vie with another good man, Aristophanes: and yet ye next morning in the breake of the daye, without any rest uppon his drinking, made suche a cunning Geometricall Instrument, that there was no maner of faulte to be found in the same: And albeit they say besides this, that Even as it makes a man bould and hardy, to thrust him selfe venterously otherwhile, in to daungerous perils of life: so likewise it brings a man in to good temper and fashion, to enure him selfe otherwhile, with the daungers of things not ever chauncing: And bycause the drinking of wine after this sorte, in a vie, in such excesse and waste, is a shrewde assault to trie the strength of him that quaffes so lustily: these Graecians, would have us to use it for a certaine proofe of our strength and constancie: and to enure us the better, to resist and master all maner of strong temptations.
All this notwithstanding, I am of a contrary mind: and I doe thinke all their reasons to fond, and to foolishe. But, we see that Learned men have suche art and cunning to persuade, and such filed wordes to serve their turne: that wrong doth carry the cause away, and Reason cannot prevaile. And therefore let us give them no credite in this point. And what can I tell, if they have a secret drift herein, to excuse and cover the fault of their countrey, that is corrupt with this vice. But it is daungerous, perchaunce, for a man to reprove them for it: least asmuch happen to him, as chaunced to Socrates him selfe, for his over lavish controuling and checking of every mans fault. For, he was so spited of all men for it: that many articles of heresies & other foule faultes were put up against him, and he condemned to die in the end: allthough they were false. For in truthe, he was a very good man, & a Chatholike: respecting ye Religion of their false Idolatrie. But suer, in that he drunke so muche wine that same night: he deserved no praise in the worlde. For, the hoggshead was able to holde & receive a great deale more, then his companion and hee were able to take: if yt may get any praise. And though it did him no harme, that was more, the goodnes of his strong braine: then the continencie of a sober man. And let the Chronicles talke what they list of this matter, I give God thankes, that amongest many the Plagues that have creapt over the Alpes, to infect us: hitherto this worst of all the rest, is not come over: that we should take a pleasure and praise, to be drunke. Neither shall I ever beleve, that a man can learne to be temperate, of suche a Maister as wine and drounkennes.