The girl was walking moodily along the edge of the bank, and looking in a dreamy fashion over the parapet into the sullen fast-flowing brown water below. An eye less keen than Ronald’s might have seen in a moment, from her harassed weary face and her quick glance to right and left after the disappearing policeman, that she was turning over in her own mind something more desperate than any common everyday venture. Ronald stepped up to her hastily, and, firm in his conviction that the Finger was guiding him aright, spoke out at once with boldness on the mere strength of his rapid instinctive conjecture.
‘Stop, stop,’ he said, laying his hand gently on her shoulder: ‘not for a moment, I beg of you, not for a moment. Not till you’ve at least told me what is your trouble.’
Selah turned round sharply and looked up in his face with a vague feeling of indefinable wonder. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, in a husky voice. ‘Don’t do what? How do you know I was going to do anything?’
‘You were going to throw yourself into the river,'Ronald answered confidently; ‘or at least you were debating about it in your own soul. I know you were, because a sure Guide tells me so.’
Selah’s lip curled a little at the sound of that familiar language. ‘And suppose I was,’ she replied, defiantly, in her reckless fashion; ‘suppose I was: what’s that to you or anybody, I should like to know? Are you your brother’s keeper, as your own Bible puts it? Well, yes, then, perhaps I WAS going to drown myself: and if I choose, as soon as your back’s turned, I shall go and do it still; so there; and that’s all I have to say about it.’
Ronald turned his face towards her with an expression of the intensest interest, but before he could put in a single word, Selah interrupted him.
‘I know what you’re going to say,’ she went on, looking up at him rebelliously. ‘I know what you’re going to say every bit as well as if you’d said it. You’re one of these city missionary sort of people, you are; and you’re going to tell me it’s awfully wicked of me to try and destroy myself, and ain’t I afraid of a terrible hereafter! Ugh! I hate and detest all that mummery.’
Ronald looked down upon her in return with a sort of silent wondering pity. ‘Awfully wicked,’ he said slowly, ‘awfully wicked! How meaningless! How incomprehensible! Awfully wicked to be friendless, or poor, or wretched, or unhappy! Awfully wicked to be driven by despair, or by heartlessness, to such a pitch of misery or frenzy that you want to fling yourself wildly into the river, only to be out of it all, anywhere, in a minute! Why you poor, unhappy girl, how on earth can you possibly help it?’
There was something in the tone of his earnest voice that melted for a moment even Selah Briggs’s pride and vehemence. It was very impertinent of him to try and interfere with her purely personal business, no doubt, but he seemed to do so in a genuinely kindly rather than in a fussy interfering spirit. At any rate he didn’t begin by talking to her that horrid cant about the attempt to commit suicide being so extremely wicked! If he had done that, Selah would have felt it was not only an unwarrantable intrusion upon her liberty of action, but a grotesque insult to her natural intelligence as well.
‘I’ve a right to drown myself if I choose,’ she faltered out, leaning faintly as she spoke against the parapet, ‘and nobody else has any possible right to hinder or prevent me. If you people make laws against my rights in that matter, I shall set your laws aside whenever and wherever it happens to suit my personal convenience.’