"Thus I was relieved from this burden, and I had become so strong in spirit that I did not entertain any further thoughts of marriage. I always felt that amongst the nobility there were many evil habits which were quite contrary to Christianity--first, because they had more opportunities of drinking; and secondly, that for every thoughtless word they must endanger body and soul, if they would not be disgraced. I reflected deeply on this, that they should dare to imagine themselves Christians, and yet live quite contrary to the doctrines of Christ; and that it never occurred to them once to abstain from such proceedings. This took away from me all disposition to marry; for although I knew some fine natures that had a horror of all these vices, yet I thought that one's descendants would be exposed to the same dangers. Still I felt I ought not to take a husband from another class, as my deceased father thought much of his ancient family.
"But God continued to impart more grace to me; and I became acquainted in Frankfort with a truly godly man. For when my noble master and mistress were travelling to the baths at Emser, a stranger was on board the vessel in which we went. By God's special providence he seated himself next me, and we fell into a spiritual discourse which lasted some hours, so that the four miles from Frankfort to Mayence, where he disembarked, appeared to me only a quarter of an hour. We talked without ceasing, and it seemed just as if he read my heart. Then I gave vent to all, concerning which I had hitherto lived in doubt. Indeed I found in this friend what I had despaired of ever finding in any man in the world. Long had I looked around me to discover whether there might be any true doers of the Word, and it had been a stumbling-block to me that I could find none. But when I perceived in this man such great penetration, that he could see into the very recesses of my heart, also such humility, gentleness, holy love, and earnestness to teach the way of truth, then I was truly comforted and much strengthened.[[80]] Then was my heart filled with godly convictions, and I felt an ever-increasing distaste to the world: and I said to myself, 'Shall I defraud my spiritual nature for the sake of contemptible transitory pleasures? No; I will by God's help prevail, let it cost what it may.' I wrote thereupon to the friend who had imparted to me so many godly gifts, that I loved him as a father, and that I purposed to loosen myself from all worldly ties. He was, moreover, fearful that I should not have strength enough to bear all that I should meet with. But the parable of the five foolish virgins and other similar salutary passages of Holy Writ were ever in my heart, and they impelled me to give up the pleasures of the world; yet I felt a fear of my master and mistress which I could not conquer. Then I frequently danced with tears in my eyes, and knew not how to help myself. 'Ah,' thought I frequently, 'if I were but the daughter of a herdsman, I should not be blamed for living in the simplicity of Christ's teaching. No one would mind me.' But when I became conscious that no position could excuse me, I determined that nothing should be a hindrance to me either in life or death. I therefore went to my duchess, and begged for my dismissal. This was refused; but, as she wished to know what had moved me to this, I told her openly, that the life I was obliged to lead at court was against my conscience. Then did my dear duchess try to divert my mind from this, looked upon it as a fit of melancholy, and said, 'You always live like a virtuous maiden, and read and pray assiduously; you see also that others who are good Christians do the like things; they are not forbidden if the heart is not set upon them.' But I pointed out to her the example of Christ and his word; I did not judge other men, but could not be content to follow their example. As now my dear duchess saw that she could not change my mind, she promised to excuse me everything that I felt to be contrary to my conscience, only she would have me remain with her and perform my duties in all other respects as before. But I represented that she would be deprived of much service by this, especially when strangers came, when it might easily happen that the other maiden should fall sick, then she would be without attendance, because I would not be present at appointed gaieties, and that would give occasion for ridicule. She would not, however, be deterred from her object, but promised me faithfully that I should be relieved from all attendance at mere amusements. Then she mentioned it to the duke, who contended with me sharply, and said it was the suggestion of the devil, that I, who was a young lady, beloved by high and low, should expose myself to so much contempt, that I should be considered a fool; besides, what would my relatives say? Now, when all this persuasion was of no avail, they sent several clergymen to me, who tried to persuade me that I did not rightly understand the words of Scripture. But I put it to their consciences which of these two ways was safest: to follow after the footsteps of Christ in all simplicity, or, while enjoying worldly pleasures, merely to talk of it and treat it with respect, yet doing otherwise. Then they said that the first would certainly be the best; but who could so live?--we were all sinful men. Then I replied, 'It is commanded me to choose the better way, and as to the power of doing it, I left that to my God,' Then they left me in peace.
"They now tried to move me in another way, by ridicule. For at the royal table they often looked at one another, and then at me, laughing amongst themselves; they often said also that it was not becoming a woman of the bedchamber to read the Bible so much, she would become too clever. But I let them jeer. When this had gone on almost a year, during which I was treated with contempt by even the most insignificant at the court, excepting some pious souls, whilst I thought little of suffering for Christ's sake, there was a sudden change. The great and glorious God brought such fear into all hearts, the highest as well as the lowest, that they did not venture to say or do anything wrong in my presence; although they did not fear the court preachers, yet before me they were quiet, and the otherwise wild young people controlled themselves when they saw me coming. Then did tears come into my eyes, whilst I thought within myself, 'Oh, wonderful God, with what power have I been enabled to bring it to pass, that both great and small fear to do wrong in my presence!' This thought did not puff up my heart, but led me to humility; I poured out my soul before God, as I had experienced his power, and saw that He could turn the hearts of princes like the waters of a rivulet. In this condition of things I continued yet three years at court, and I can truly say that I experienced much kindness, not alone from my dear master and mistress, but from every one: but by God's grace I did not accept many favours from the great, nor employ them upon temporal things.
"Having then for three years lived at court in all simplicity, and rejected all transitory pleasures, whereby the body, and not the spirit, is recreated, it came to pass that my deceased father required me to keep his house, as my stepmother had died in childbed, and the child was still alive, and so I was called from court. It was, however, very difficult for me to obtain my dismissal, as my dear duchess loved me as if I were her child, and lamented my departure with many tears: she even sent after me to beg I might return, and did not desist till I promised that if I ever returned to court I should consider myself bound to them before all others. But when I came home I found that the child had meanwhile died, and my father had determined to become high steward of the Princess von Philippseck. Thus I was free to settle myself with a noble and godly widow, Baurin von Eyseneck--her maiden name was Hinsbergen--whose manner of life was known to every one in Frankfort, and whose end was blessed. With her I was six years, and we loved one another as though of one heart and soul.
"About this period, being in danger of shipwreck, the Lord so mightily strengthened me, that I was joyful while others trembled and desponded. It happened that I was on the passage-boat from Frankfort to Hanau going to visit my sister; there were divers people on board, among them some soldiers, who were carrying on very coarse and improper jokes with poor women. I was sorrowful that these people were so entirely unmindful of their souls, and, leaning against the side of the vessel, endeavoured to sleep that I might not hear such talk. In my sleep I dreamt of the sentence in Psalm xiv., 'The Lord looked down from heaven upon the children of men.' Upon this I awoke, and in waking it appeared to me as if a great storm of wind turned the ship round; then was I terrified and thought within myself, 'Art thou really awake? What is thy state of mind?' Not a quarter of an hour afterwards there came a mighty whirlwind which took hold of the ship. We were in very great danger, so that all cried out with anguish, and called upon the name of Jesus for help--He whom they had so often before named carelessly in their frivolous jesting. Then did God open my mouth, to make them feel how good it is to walk in the fear of the Lord, and that He is a refuge in the time of trouble. When now the Most High mercifully laid the unexpected storm, one of the women was so impudent as to say jestingly, that our ship would have been overwhelmed by the waves, 'but, as there is a saint on board, we have been saved;' so saying she laughed loud, whereupon I became much excited, and said, 'You impudent woman, think you that the hand of the Lord could not reach us?' And scarcely had I closed my mouth, when the former wind rose again, a leak appeared in the boat, and all gave up hope of life; but I felt an unusual joy, and thought, 'Shall I now see my Jesus? What will now remain in the water? Nothing but the mortal--that which has so often hindered me. That which has been life in me will never die,' &c., &c. The ship was already filling with water; all the caulking and pumping was of no avail; the storm also held on, so that it was impossible to turn to the land, either on the right or left hand, and we thought that the ship would sink; but all at once the wind was lulled, and the ship reached the shore. Then did all spring out of the ship, and the wild soldiers who had been moved by my words, looked after me with great care, so that I came well to land, and thanked God that I had been able to speak to their hearts.
"When I had been about a year with the widow Baurin, my dear master and mistress heard that my father no longer needed me, so my dear mistress wrote, herself, to me to return and resume my service; she would send the carriage for me and give me double salary, and I was to be called mistress of the robes; but I excused myself by saying that I must take charge of my father's property, and therefore be often present there. But when I had passed six years with dear Frau Baurin, it was ordained by the Most High God that my dear husband, who had seen me some years before at Frankfort, began to think of marrying me; he gave at Lübeck a commission to a certain person to speak to me concerning it, who did it, but after some time had passed, for want of an opportunity. But when I first heard it, I could not think of marrying, and after offering up my prayers to God, I sat down and wrote to this effect, and suggested to him another very excellent person. But my dear husband would not be deterred, and wrote to my dear friend, also to sundry distinguished ecclesiastics, and to my deceased father. This letter I at first retained, till my conscience constrained me to deliver it to my father, as it had no other aim than to serve to the glory of God. Then I wrote and sent him the letter, and at the same time remained as calm as if it were nothing concerning myself. All the contents of the letter to my father were unknown to me, and I did not think that my deceased father would give his consent. But when his answer came--wherein he wrote that he had many reasons for not wishing me so far from him in his old age, and had never yet made up his mind to allow his child to marry below her station, yet he could not withstand the will of God,--it went to my heart, and I thought it must be of God, because my father's heart had been touched beyond all expectation. He left the matter to my disposal, which I did not, however, agree to, but submitted it entirely to his will. My brother-in-law, von Dorfield, high steward at the court of Hanau, was much against it, but my deceased father answered him in a most Christian spirit,[[81]] that it was not good for us, of the evangelical faith, to esteem the clergy so little, as the Papists held their priests so high; further, that his daughter was not suited to a worldly man; that she would not marry inconsiderately out of her class, as was known to every one. But God had called me to this vocation. They were therefore obliged to be quiet, and my father gave his consent.
"Thereupon my dear husband came to Frankfort, and we were married on the 7th September, 1680, by D. Spener, in the presence of her Highness the Princess von Philippseck, my father, and some noble persons of distinction; there were about thirty, and everything went off in such a quiet and Christian manner, that every one was pleased. But the demon of calumny could not refrain from his malice; it vexed his tools that the marriage was not accompanied by eating and drinking and wild doings, after the manner of the world. Then they invented this lie, that the Holy Spirit had appeared in the chamber in which we were married, in a form of fire, and that we had interpreted the Revelation of St. John. Such lies were also reported to the Rev. Dr. Heiler, who had been himself at our wedding. But when he contradicted them, and stated that he had been present, that nothing had passed but what was truly Christian, they were ashamed of their lies."
Thus far the wife. The narration of the husband forms a supplement to hers. But first we will give his account of his youth, and of his experiences as shepherd of souls. Dr. Johann Wilhelm Petersen begins thus:--
"I was born in the renowned city of Osnabrück, on the 1st of June, 1649, after the conclusion of the peace of Westphalia, where my father, George Petersen, had been sent from Lubeck on business concerning the peace. When I grew older, my parents sent me to the Latin school at Lubeck. They never had to force me to study, for I paid attention to all my lessons, and concealed candles, in order that I might thus study whilst others slept. I then also copied divers small books, as I could not obtain printed copies. But I more especially applied myself to prayer, as I had seen my mother do, after I had heard from her that one could obtain everything from God through prayer, on which account I always, before I began my studies, called upon God to bless them. And once, when I was in want of money to buy a certain book, I went to St. Mary's Church, placed myself on the long stools before the altar, and prayed to God to grant me wherewith to buy the desired book. Now when I had knelt down and finished my prayer, behold there lay a heap of money on the bench before which I had knelt; this strengthened me much. But when, in consequence, I wished to make a custom of it, and again sought to obtain money by prayer, through the wise guidance of God I found nothing, for He only hears us when in childlike simplicity we appear before Him without any after-thought. But yet once, when about to be punished, I turned to God in prayer, and punishment was averted.
"Now when I came to the third class, I had been very diligent; therefore the Herr Conrector put the others to shame by my example, and said that I had surpassed them all and gained the crown, and, as he expressed himself, would throw sand into their eyes. This vexed the scholars much, and excited their envy; they painted a crown in my book, and strewed it thick with sand, with this inscription: 'This is Petersen's crown, and the sand he would cast in our eyes.' At last I was afraid to repeat my lesson too readily, though I had learnt it thoroughly, lest I should be beaten by the other scholars. When I was removed into the first class, I found there excellent preceptors. At this period I put many verses in print, especially on the death of my dearly beloved mother. I also delivered two orations on the restoration of peace at Lubeck; and the Choice of Hercules. In 1669 I went to the University of Giessen.