The Thistle and the Cedar of Lebanon

by Habeeb Risk Allah

Some time afterwards, the thief was apprehended and carried before the Cadi, to whom he related the circumstance of which he had been witness. “Well,” said the magistrate, “your punishment shall be either to lose your head, or like the man you have robbed, immediately possess yourself of two wives—you shall have the option.” “After what I have seen,” replied the criminal, “I have no hesitation; better to lose my head and go at once to Paradise than live to be torn in half between two jealous wives.”

Although it is most true, that in Europe polygamy is disallowed, I need not say how often the marriage vow is broken, and how many are the delinquents.

Often old men even have mistresses in addition to their own lawful wife. Much of this corruption evidently arises from the iniquitous practice of mariage de convenance, so often speculated in by most match-making mothers, in the two greatest capitals of Europe. Men and women, who have not a single idea in common, and no sympathy with each other, are inveigled into marriages because the one has wealth and the other titles, or what is worse, beauty is bartered for gold. I am quite at a loss to account for the utter want of feeling in those parents who can ruthlessly sacrifice the happiness and peace of mind of their own child, by marrying a girl, perhaps of sixteen, to a half-idiotic or toothless man, in infirmity or age, thus ill calculating either for the happiness or protection of inexperienced youth. (I know of such instances). It is not in nature that such a couple should be happy; for a young man cannot be fascinated by the charms of a haggish old woman, neither is it possible, where such disparities exist, for a young girl to nourish one spark of that warm affection which should ever exist between man and wife.

Now, in Syria, such marriages never occur. A man takes a wife for a helpmate not for a puppet—for a companion in health—a consolation in sickness, to help him in enjoying the bounteous gifts of nature, or to soothe when the cloud of affliction rests over his pathway. This was why marriage was constituted, and this is why people get married in the East. It is true that an Oriental wife cannot paint, or play the piano or harp, but she can sing in her own quiet way, and that sweetly, too—never sweeter than when she is hushing her first-born to slumber; and she can dance on any very festive occasion, not the giddy flaunting waltz or polka, but a quiet measured tread, graceful and

becoming without being indecorous. It may be that a man does sometimes marry a girl possessed of a wealthy dower; but these instances are rare, and when they do occur, the dower is, for the most part, invested in jewels or in lands. If in the latter, the husband enjoys a life-interest in them—he is indeed lord and master of the property, and can make any improvements he sees fit: the former generally decorate the wife’s turban on festive occasions; but in case of misfortune, then these are pledged or sold off one by one to meet the emergency. I trust many of my fair readers will, after perusing this, feel convinced of the binding and solemn nature of the marriage tie amongst Christians in Syria. Far be it from me by these observations, to throw any slur upon the married life of the people of Western Europe; I merely wish to show to those who imagine that polygamy is universal in the East, that the same thing, but in a different form, is as prevalent in their own country. The English, indeed, are, upon the whole, freer from this vice than most other civilised nations, and their domestic felicity far exceeds that of any other people.

But to return to the immediate subject. The son, as soon as he is married, is fairly embarked in life, and if his father be a widower, then the whole of the household arrangements devolve upon the young wife. The son is generally master of the house, and the old man retires from business and the bustle of life, passing the rest of his days as a guest or sort of pensioner in his own house, and seldom meddling with its domestic economy. Should the mother, however, still survive, she devotes her time to instructing her daughter-in-law in domestic matters, and also accompanies her when she goes out.

There is one thing very praiseworthy amongst the Syrians, and a trait in our character which many civilised nations would do well to take for an example. I allude to untiring love and charity between not only members of one household, but all relations or connexions, however distantly connected. One seldom or ever hears of a father and his children being on bad terms, or of quarrels and broils between sisters and brothers. Of course they are not exempt from angry passions; high words may rise between them, and even ill feeling rancour in their hearts, but they never allow “the sun to set on their wrath;” and if only for appearance’ sake, they make it up again speedily, and converse and chat as freely as ever. In this respect they act up to a wise, if not elegant, French proverb—“Le linge sale doit être lavé en famille.” No strangers are permitted to rejoice at their discords, or mock at their infirmities.

Then, again, so long as one member of a family is well off, he will never suffer his poor relations to feel want. If he can find them employment, well and good; if not, they have the shelter of his own house, and food from his own table; and in return, all he expects is, that they will lend a hand at being useful. Every want is supplied them: and if even clothes be necessary, these are provided. When two or more relations of a poor man are well to do, they join together to assist him; and this in a great measure accounts for the scarcity of street-beggars in most parts of Syria. A Syrian would consider it a disgrace to his name, that any member of his family should be suffered to want whilst he had a crumb to spare, and it would be looked upon as a heinous sin in a religious point of view. In England,

perhaps, it would not be fashionable to have a poor relation out at elbows, tarnishing the splendidly furnished drawing-room of a wealthy relative; or it would not be convenient to curtail the luxury and voluptuous display of every-day wealth, to contribute a pittance for the maintenance of a starving nephew or a crippled brother. This may not be fashionable, but it would be Christian-like; and rest assured, O slave of the world, so full of all “the pomps and vanities of this wicked world,” that when He comes, who gave even His life for your salvation, then the poor uneducated Syrian—the man who has received little—will have a far lighter account to balance with the Great Author of eternal life, than you who have possessed and have withheld.

Public prostitution was a thing entirely unknown in Syria until intercourse with Europeans introduced it first into the sea-ports; from thence it gradually spread inland. Formerly the most severe punishments were inflicted for this crime, and where the authorities failed to interfere, the relatives took the law into their own hands, and very summarily disposed of an offender against their honour. Even now-a-days, such poor creatures are rare; and if by chance one meets with one, she is invariably under the protection of some European—of itself a sufficient guarantee from punishment. I remember a most shocking instance of the punishment inflicted upon a woman of this class some eighteen years ago, at Beyrout. Her family were neighbours of mine. She was several times warned to be on her guard, but totally disregarded these warnings, till at length, some of the men connected with her family, entered (with the father’s knowledge and consent) the house of her paramour at night, and