Many women, when they have a favourite point to gain, or an earneſt wiſh to bring any one over to their opinion, often uſe a very diſingenuous method: they will ſtate a caſe ambiguouſly, and then avail themſelves of it, in whatever manner ſhall beſt anſwer their purpoſe; leaving your mind in a ſtate of indeciſion as to their real meaning, while they triumph in the perplexity they have given you by the unfair concluſions they draw, from premiſes equivocally ſtated. They will alſo frequently argue from exceptions inſtead of rules, and are aſtoniſhed when you are not willing to be contented with a prejudice, inſtead of a reaſon.
In a ſenſible company of both ſexes, where women are not reſtrained by any other reſerve than what their natural modeſty impoſes; and where the intimacy of all parties authoriſes the utmoſt freedom of communication; ſhould any one inquire what were the general ſentiments on ſome particular ſubject, it will, I believe, commonly happen, that the ladies, whoſe imaginations have kept pace with the narration, have anticipated its end, and are ready to deliver their ſentiments on it as ſoon as it is finiſhed. While ſome of the male hearers, whoſe minds were buſied in ſettling the propriety, comparing the circumſtances, and examining the conſiſtencies of what was ſaid, are obliged to pauſe and diſcriminate, before they think of anſwering. Nothing is ſo embarraſſing as a variety of matter, and the converſation of women is often more perſpicuous, becauſe it is leſs laboured.
A man of deep reflection, if he does not keep up an intimate commerce with the world, will be ſometimes ſo entangled in the intricacies of intenſe thought, that he will have the appearance of a confuſed and perplexed expreſſion; while a ſprightly woman will extricate herſelf with that lively and "raſh dexterity," which will almoſt always pleaſe, though it is very far from being always right. It is eaſier to confound than to convince an opponent; the former may be effected by a turn that has more happineſs than truth in it. Many an excellent reaſoner, well ſkilled in the theory of the ſchools, has felt himſelf diſcomfited by a reply, which, though as wide of the mark, and as foreign to the queſtion as can be conceived, has diſconcerted him more than the moſt ſtartling propoſition, or the moſt accurate chain of reaſoning could have done; and he has borne the laugh of his fair antagoniſt, as well as of the whole company, though he could not but feel, that his own argument was attended with the fulleſt demonſtration: ſo true is it, that it is not always neceſſary to be right, in order to be applauded.
But let not a young lady's vanity be too much elated with this falſe applauſe, which is given, not to her merit, but to her ſex: ſhe has not perhaps gained a victory, though ſhe may be allowed a triumph; and it ſhould humble her to reflect, that the tribute is paid, not to her ſtrength but her weakneſs. It is worth while to diſcriminate between that applauſe, which is given from the complaiſance of others, and that which is paid to our own merit.
Where great ſprightlineſs is the natural bent of the temper, girls ſhould endeavour to habituate themſelves to a cuſtom of obſerving, thinking, and reaſoning. I do not mean, that they ſhould devote themſelves to abſtruſe ſpeculation, or the ſtudy of logic; but ſhe who is accuſtomed to give a due arrangement to her thoughts, to reaſon juſtly and pertinently on common affairs, and judiciouſly to deduce effects from their cauſes, will be a better logician than ſome of thoſe who claim the name, becauſe they have ſtudied the art: this is being "learned without the rules;" the beſt definition, perhaps, of that ſort of literature which is propereſt for the ſex. That ſpecies of knowledge, which appears to be the reſult of reflection rather than of ſcience, ſits peculiarly well on women. It is not uncommon to find a lady, who, though ſhe does not know a rule of Syntax, ſcarcely ever violates one; and who conſtructs every ſentence ſhe utters, with more propriety than many a learned dunce, who has every rule of Ariſtotle by heart, and who can lace his own thread-bare diſcourſe with the golden ſhreds of Cicero and Virgil.
It has been objected, and I fear with ſome reaſon, that female converſation is too frequently tinctured with a cenſorious ſpirit, and that ladies are ſeldom apt to diſcover much tenderneſs for the errors of a fallen ſiſter.
If it be ſo, it is a grievous fault.
No arguments can juſtify, no pleas can extenuate it. To inſult over the miſeries of an unhappy creature is inhuman, not to compaſſionate them is unchriſtian. The worthy part of the ſex always expreſs themſelves humanely on the failings of others, in proportion to their own undeviating goodneſs.
And here I cannot help remarking, that young women do not always carefully diſtinguiſh between running into the error of detraction, and its oppoſite extreme of indiſcriminate applauſe. This proceedſ from the falſe idea they entertain, that the direct contrary to what is wrong muſt be right. Thus the dread of being only ſuſpected of one fault makes them actually guilty of another. The deſire of avoiding the imputation of envy, impels them to be inſincere; and to eſtabliſh a reputation for ſweetneſs of temper and generoſity, they affect ſometimes to ſpeak of very indifferent characters with the moſt extravagant applauſe. With ſuch, the hyperbole is a favourite figure; and every degree of compariſon but the ſuperlative is rejected, as cold and inexpreſſive. But this habit of exaggeration greatly weakens their credit, and deſtroys the weight of their opinion on other occaſions; for people very ſoon diſcover what degree of faith is to be given both to their judgment and veracity. And thoſe of real merit will no more be flattered by that approbation, which cannot diſtinguiſh the value of what it praiſes, than the celebrated painter muſt have been at the judgment paſſed on his works by an ignorant ſpectator, who, being aſked what he thought of ſuch and ſuch very capital but very different pieces, cried out in an affected rapture, "All alike! all alike!"
It has been propoſed to the young, as a maxim of ſupreme wiſdom, to manage ſo dexterouſly in converſation, as to appear to be well acquainted with ſubjects, of which they are totally ignorant; and this, by affecting ſilence in regard to thoſe, on which they are known to excel.—But why counſel this diſingenuous fraud? Why add to the numberleſs arts of deceit, this practice of deceiving, as it were, on a ſettled principle? If to diſavow the knowledge they really have be a culpable affectation, then certainly to inſinuate an idea of their ſkill, where they are actually ignorant, is a moſt unworthy artifice.