But Wit, like learning, is not near ſo common a thing as is imagined. Let not therefore a young lady be alarmed at the acuteneſs of her own wit, any more than at the abundance of her own knowledge. The great danger is, leſt ſhe ſhould miſtake pertneſs, flippancy, or imprudence, for this brilliant quality, or imagine ſhe is witty, only becauſe ſhe is indiſcreet. This is very frequently the caſe, and this makes the name of wit ſo cheap, while its real exiſtence is ſo rare.
Lest the flattery of her acquaintance, or an over-weening opinion of her own qualifications, ſhould lead ſome vain and petulant girl into a falſe notion that ſhe has a great deal of wit, when ſhe has only a redundancy of animal ſpirits, ſhe may not find it uſeleſs to attend to the definition of this quality, by one who had as large a portion of it, as moſt individuals could ever boaſt:
'Tis not a tale, 'tis not a jeſt,
Admir'd with laughter at a feaſt,
Nor florid talk, which can that title gain,
The proofs of wit for ever muſt remain.
Neither can that have any place,
At which a virgin hides her face;
Such droſs the fire muſt purge away; 'tis juſt,
The author bluſh there, where the reader muſt.
Cowley.
But thoſe who actually poſſeſs this rare talent, cannot be too abſtinent in the uſe of it. It often makes admirers, but it never makes friends; I mean, where it is the predominant feature; and the unprotected and defenceleſs ſtate of womanhood calls for friendſhip more than for admiration. She who does not deſire friends has a ſordid and inſenſible ſoul; but ſhe who is ambitious of making every man her admirer, has an invincible vanity and a cold heart.
But to dwell only on the ſide of policy, a prudent woman, who has eſtabliſhed the reputation of ſome genius will ſufficiently maintain it, without keeping her faculties always on the ſtretch to ſay good things. Nay, if reputation alone be her object, ſhe will gain a more ſolid one by her forbearance, as the wiſer part of her acquaintance will aſcribe it to the right motive, which is, not that ſhe has leſs wit, but that ſhe has more judgment.
The fatal fondneſs for indulging a ſpirit of ridicule, and the injurious and irreparable conſequences which ſometimes attend the too prompt reply, can never be too ſeriouſly or too ſeverely condemned. Not to offend, is the firſt ſtep towards pleaſing. To give pain is as much an offence againſt humanity, as againſt good breeding; and ſurely it is as well to abſtain from an action becauſe it is ſinful, as becauſe it is impolite. In company, young ladies would do well before they ſpeak, to reflect, if what they are going to ſay may not diſtreſs ſome worthy perſon preſent, by wounding them in their perſons, families, connexions, or religious opinions. If they find it will touch them in either of theſe, I ſhould adviſe them to ſuſpect, that what they were going to ſay is not ſo very good a thing as they at firſt imagined. Nay, if even it was one of thoſe bright ideas, which Venus has imbued with a fifth part of her nectar, ſo much greater will be their merit in ſuppreſſing it, if there was a probability it might offend. Indeed, if they have the temper and prudence to make ſuch a previous reflection, they will be more richly rewarded by their own inward triumph, at having ſuppreſſed a lively but ſevere remark, than they could have been with the diſſembled applauſes of the whole company, who, with that complaiſant deceit, which good breeding too much authoriſes, affect openly to admire what they ſecretly reſolve never to forgive.
I have always been delighted with the ſtory of the little girl's eloquence, in one of the Children's Tales, who received from a friendly fairy the gift, that at every word ſhe uttered, pinks, roſes, diamonds, and pearls, ſhould drop from her mouth. The hidden moral appears to be this, that it was the ſweetneſs of her temper which produced this pretty fanciful effect: for when her malicious ſiſter deſired the ſame gift from the good-natured tiny Intelligence, the venom of her own heart converted it into poiſonous and loathſome reptiles.
A man of ſenſe and breeding will ſometimes join in the laugh, which has been raiſed at his expence by an ill-natured repartee; but if it was very cutting, and one of thoſe ſhocking ſort of truths, which as they can ſcarcely be pardoned even in private, ought never to be uttered in public, he does not laugh becauſe he is pleaſed, but becauſe he wiſhes to conceal how much he is hurt. As the ſarcaſm was uttered by a lady, ſo far from ſeeming to reſent it, he will be the firſt to commend it; but notwithſtanding that, he will remember it as a trait of malice, when the whole company ſhall have forgotten it as a ſtroke of wit. Women are ſo far from being privileged by their ſex to ſay unhandſome or cruel things, that it is this very circumſtance which renders them more intolerable. When the arrow is lodged in the heart, it is no relief to him who is wounded to reflect, that the hand which ſhot it was a fair one.