And there I thought again on the priest, whose bacon I had stolen: and now may the reader think what a misguided, wanton, and overweening spirit was mine, when it was not enough for me to have robbed and terrified that pious man, but I must claim honour for it. To that end I took a sapphire set in a gold ring, which I had picked up on that same plundering expedition, and sent it from Rehnen to my priest by a sure hand with this letter: "Reverend Sir,--Had I but in these last days had aught in the wood to eat and so to live, I had had no cause to steal your reverence's bacon, in which matter 'tis likely you were terrified. I swear by all that is holy that such affright was against my will, and so the more do I hope for forgiveness. As concerning the bacon itself, 'tis but just it should be paid for, and therefore in place of money I send this present ring, given by those for whose behoof your goods must needs be taken, and beg your reverence will be pleased to accept the same: and add thereto that he will always find on all occasions an obedient and faithful servant in him whom his sacristan took to be no painter and who is otherwise known as 'The Huntsman.'"
But to the peasant whose oven they had emptied, the party sent out of the general booty sixteen rix-dollars: for I had taught them that in such wise they must bring the country-folk on their side, seeing that such could often help a party out of great difficulties or betray such another party and bring all to the gallows. From Rehnen we marched to Münster and thence to Ham, and so home to Soest to our headquarters, where I after some days received an answer from his reverence, as follows: "Noble Huntsman,--If he from whom you stole the bacon had known that you would appear to him in devilish guise, he had not so often wished to behold the notorious huntsman. But even as the borrowed meat and bread have been far too dearly paid for, so also is the fright inflicted the easier to forgive, especially because 'twas caused (against his will) by so famous a person, who is hereby forgiven, with the request that he will once more visit without fear him who fears not to conjure the devil.--Vale."
And so did I everywhere, and gained much fame: yea, and the more I gave away and spent, the more the booty flowed in, and I conceived that I had laid out that ring well, though 'twas worth some hundred rix-dollars. And so ends this second book.
BOOK III
Chap. i.: HOW THE HUNTSMAN WENT TOO FAR TO THE LEFT HAND
The gentle reader will have understood by the foregoing book how ambitious I had become in Soest, and that I had sought and found honour, fame, and favour in deeds which in others had deserved punishment. And now will I tell how through my folly I let myself be further led astray, and so lived in constant danger of life and limb; for I was so busied to gain honour and fame that I could not sleep by reason of it, and being full of such fancies, and lying awake many a night to devise new plots and plans, I had many wondrous conceits. In this wise I contrived a kind of shoes that a man could put on hind part before, so that the heel came under his toes: and of these at mine own cost I caused thirty different pairs to be made, and when I had given these out to my fellows and with them went on a foray, 'twas clean impossible to follow our tracks: for now would we wear these, and now again our right shoes on our feet, and the others in our knapsacks. So that if a man came to a place where I had bidden them change shoes, 'twas for all the world, by the tracks, as if two parties had met together there and together had vanished away. But if I kept these new invented shoes on throughout, it seemed as I had gone thither whence in truth I had come, or had come from the place to which I now went. And besides this, my tracks were at all times confused, as in a maze, so that they who should pursue or seek news of me from the footprints could never come at me. Often I was close by a party of the enemy who were minded to seek me far away: and still more often miles away from some thicket which they had surrounded, and were searching in hopes to find me. And as I managed with my parties on foot, so did I also when we were on horseback: for to me 'twas simple enough to dismount at cross-roads and forked ways and there have the horses' shoes set on hind part before. But the common tricks that soldiers use, being weak in numbers, to appear from the tracks to be strong, or being strong to appear weak, these were for me so common and I held them so cheap that I care not to tell of them. Moreover, I devised an instrument wherewith if 'twas calm weather I could by night hear a trumpet blow three hours' march away, could hear a horse neigh or a dog bark at two hours' distance, and hear men's talk at three miles; which art I kept secret, and gained thereby great respect, for it seemed to all incredible. Yet by day was this instrument, which I commonly kept with a perspective-glass in my breeches pouch, not so useful, even though 'twas in a quiet and lonely place: for with it one could not choose but hear every sound made by horses and cattle, yea, the smallest bird in the air and the frog in the water in all the country round, and all this could be as plainly heard as if one were in the midst of a market among men and beasts where all do make such noise that for the crying of one a man cannot understand another. 'Tis true I know well there are folk who to this day will not believe this: but believe it or not, 'tis but the truth. With this instrument I can by night know any man that talks but so loud as his custom is, by his voice, though he be as far from me as where with a good perspective-glass one could by day know him by his clothes. Yet can I blame no one if he believe not what I here write, for none of those would believe me which saw with their own eyes how I used the said instrument, and would say to them, "I hear cavalry, for the horses are shod," or "I hear peasants coming, for the horses are unshod," or "I hear waggoners, but 'tis only peasants; for I know them by their talk." "Here come musqueteers, and so many, for I hear the rattling of their bandoliers." "There is a village near by, for I hear the cocks crow and the dogs bark." "There goes a herd of cattle; for I hear sheep bleat and cows low and pigs grunt"; and so forth. Mine own comrades at first would hold this but for vain boasting, and when they found that all I said proved true in fact, then all must be witchcraft, and what I said must have been told to me by the devil and his dam. And so I believe will the gentle reader also think. Nevertheless by such means did I often escape the adversary when he had news of me and came to capture me: and I deem that if I had published this discovery 'twould since have become common, for it would be of great service in war and notably in sieges. But I return to my history.
If I was not needed for a foray, I would go a-stealing, and then were neither horses, cows, pigs, nor sheep safe from me that I could find for miles round: for I had a contrivance to put boots or shoes on the horses and cattle till I came to a frequented road, where none could trace them: and then I would shoe the horses hind part before, or if 'twas cows and oxen I put shoes on them which to that end I had caused to be made, and so brought them to a safe place. And the big fat swine-gentry, which by reason of laziness care not to travel by night, these I devised a masterly trick to bring away, however much they might grunt and refuse. For I made a savoury brew with meal and water and soaked a sponge in it: this I fastened to a strong cord, and let them for whom I angled swallow that sponge full of the broth, but kept the cord in my hand, whereupon without further parley they went contentedly with me and paid their score with hams and sausages. And all I brought home I faithfully shared both with the officers and my comrades: and so I got leave to fare forth again, and when my thefts were spied upon and betrayed, they helped me finely through. For the rest, I deemed myself far too good to steal from poor men, or rob hen-roosts and filch such small deer. And with all this I began by little and little to lead an epicurish life in regard of eating and drinking: for now I had forgot my hermit's teaching and had none to guide my youth or to whom I might look up: for my officers shared with me and caroused with me, and they that should have warned and chastised me rather enticed me to all vices. By this means I became so godless and wicked that no villainy was too great for me to compass. But at last I was secretly envied, specially by my comrades, as having a luckier hand at thieving than any other, and also by my officers because I cut such a figure, was lucky in forays, and made for myself a greater name and reputation than they themselves had. In a word, I am well assured one party or the other would have sacrificed me had I not spent so much.
Chap. ii.: HOW THE HUNTSMAN OF SOEST DID RID HIMSELF OF THE HUNTSMAN OF WESEL
Now as I was living in this fashion, and busied with this, namely, to have me certain devil-masks made and grisly raiment thereto appertaining with cloven hoofs, by which means to terrify our foes, and specially to take their goods from our friends unbeknown (for which the affair of the bacon-stealing gave me the first hint), I had news that a fellow was at Wesel, which was a renowned partisan, went clad in green, and under my name practised divers rapes and robberies here and there in the land, but chiefly among our supporters, so that well-founded plaints against me were raised, and I must have paid for it smartly, had I not clearly shewn that at the very time he played these and other like tricks in my name I was elsewhere. Now this I would not pardon him, much less suffer him longer to use my name, to plunder in my shape and so bring me to shame. So with the knowledge of the commandant at Soest I sent him an invitation to the open field with swords or pistols. But as he had no heart to appear, I let it be known I would be revenged on him, even though it were in the very quarters of the commandant at Wesel, who had failed to punish him. Yea, I said openly if I found him on a foray I would treat him as an enemy. And that determined me to let my masks alone with which I had planned to do great things, to cut my green livery in pieces, and to burn it publicly in Soest in front of my quarters, to say nothing of all my clothing and horse harness, which were worth well over a hundred ducats: yea, and in my wrath I swore that the next that should call me huntsman must either kill me or die by my hand, should it cost me my life: nor would I ever again lead a party (for I was not bound to do so, being no officer) till I had avenged myself on my counterfeit at Wesel. So I kept myself to myself and did no more any exploits, save that I did my duty as sentry wheresoever I might be ordered to go, and that I performed as any malingerer might, and as sleepily as might well be. And this thing became known in the neighbourhood, and the advance-parties of the enemy became so bold and assured at this that they every day would bivouac close to our pickets: and that at last I could endure no longer. Yet what plagued me most of all was this: that this huntsman of Wesel went ever on his old way, giving himself out for me and under that name getting plunder enough and to spare.
Meanwhile, while all thought I had laid myself to sleep on a bearskin and should not soon rise from it, I was inquiring of the ways and works of my counterfeit at Wesel, and found that he not only imitated me in name and clothing, but was also used to steal by night whenever he could find a chance: so I woke up again unexpectedly and laid my plans accordingly. Now I had by little and little trained my two servants like watch-dogs, and they were so true to me that each at need would have run through fire for me, for with me they had good food and drink and gained plenty of booty. One of these I sent to mine enemy at Wesel, to pretend that because I, that had been his master, was now begun to live like any idler and had sworn never again to ride on a raid, he cared not to stay longer with me, but was come to serve him, since 'twas he that had put on the huntsman's dress in his master's stead, and carried himself like a proper soldier: and he knew, said he, all highways and byways in the country, and could lay many a plan for him to gain good booty. My good simple fool believed it all, and let himself be persuaded to take the fellow into his service. So on a certain night he went with him and his comrade to a sheepfold to fetch away a few fat wethers: but there was I and Jump-i'-th'-field my other servant already in waiting, and had bribed the shepherd to fasten up his dogs and to suffer the new-comers to burrow their way into the shed unhindered; for I would say grace for them over their mutton. So when they had made a hole through the wall, the huntsman of Wesel would have it that my servant should slip in first: "But," says he, "No, for there might well be one on the watch that should deal me one on the head: I see plainly ye know not how to go a-mousing: one must first explore"; and therewith drew his sword and hung his hat on the point, and pushing it through the hole again and again, "So," says he, "We shall find out if the good man be at home or not." This ended, the huntsman of Wesel was the first to creep through. And with that Jump-i'-th'-field had him by the arm which held his sword, and asked, would he cry for quarter? That his fellow heard and would have run for it: but I, who knew not which was the huntsman, and was swifter of foot than he, overtook him in a few paces: so I asked him, "Of what party?" Says he, "Of the emperor's." I asked, "What regiment? I am of the emperor's side: 'tis a rogue that denies his master!" He answered, "We are of the dragoons of Soest, and are come to fetch a couple of sheep: I hope, brother, if ye be of the emperor's party too, ye will let us pass." I answered, "Who are ye, then, from Soest?" Says he, "My comrade in the shed is the huntsman." "Then are ye rogues," said I, "or why do ye plunder your own quarters? The huntsman of Soest is no such fool as to let himself be taken in a sheep-fold." "Nay, from Wesel I should have said," says he: but while we thus disputed together came my servant and Jump-i'-th'-field to us with my adversary: and, "Lookye," says I, "Is it thus we come together, thou honourable rascal, thou? Were it not that I respect the emperor's arms which thou hast undertaken to bear against the enemy, I would incontinently send a ball through thy head: till now I have been the huntsman of Soest, and thee I count for a rogue unless thou take one of these swords here present and measurest the other with me soldier-fashion." And with that my servant (who, like Jump-i'-th'-field, had on horrible devil's apparel with goat's horns) laid a couple of swords at our feet which I had brought from Soest, and gave the huntsman of Wesel the choice, to take which he would: whereat the poor huntsman was so dismayed that it fared with him as with me at Hanau when I spoiled the dance: he and his comrade trembled like wet dogs, fell on their knees, and begged for pardon. But Jump-i'-th'-field growled out, as 'twere from the inside of a hollow pot, "Nay, ye must fight, or I will break the neck of ye." "O honourable sir devil," says the huntsman, "I came not here to fight: oh, deliver me from this, master devil, and I will do what thou wilt." So as he talked thus wildly, my servant put one sword in his hand and gave me the other: yet he trembled so sore he could not hold it. Now the moon was bright, and the shepherd and his men could see and hear all from out their hut: so I called to him to come, that I might have a witness of this bargain: but when he came, he made as though he saw not the two in devils' disguise, and said, what cause had I to bicker so long with these two fellows in his sheepfold: if I had aught to settle with them, I might do it elsewhere: for our business concerned him not at all: he paid his "Conterbission" regularly every month, and hoped, therefore, he might live in peace with his sheep. To the two fellows he said, why did they so suffer one man to plague them, and did not knock me on the head at once. "Why," said I, "thou rascal, they would have stolen thy sheep." "Then let the devil wring their necks for them," says the peasant, and away he went. With that I would come to the fighting again: but my poor huntsman could, for sheer terror, no longer keep his feet, so that I pitied him: yea, he and his comrade uttered such piteous plaints that, in a word, I forgave and pardoned him all. But Jump-i'-th'-field would not so be satisfied, but scratched the huntsman so grievously in the face that he looked as he had been at dinner with the cats, and with this poor revenge I must be content. So the huntsman vanished from Wesel, for he was sore shamed: inasmuch as his comrade declared everywhere, and confirmed it with horrible oaths, that I had in real truth two devils in the flesh that waited on me; and so was I more feared, and contrariwise less loved.