I answered that what I had written was not mine own invention but extracted from other books to give me some practice in writing. "Yes, yes," says he, "of course I am pleased to believe it: yet may you be sure I know more of your honour than he conceives." At these words I was dismayed and thought, "Hath a little bird told thee?" But he, seeing how I changed colour, went on to say, "Ye are lively and young, idle and handsome. Ye do live a careless life, and as I hear in all luxury: therefore do I beseech you in the Lord and exhort you to consider in what an evil case you stand: beware of the beast with the long hair, if you have any care for your happiness and health. Ye may perhaps say, 'How concerneth it the priest what I do or not?' ('Rightly guessed,' said I to myself) or, 'What right hath he to command me?' 'Tis true I have but the care of souls: but, sir, be assured that your temporal good, as that of my benefactor, is for mere Christian love as precious as if ye were mine own son. 'Tis ever a pity, and never can ye answer such a charge before your heavenly Father if ye do bury the talent He hath entrusted to you and leave to go to ruin that noble understanding which I do perceive in this your writing. My faithful and fatherly advice would be, ye should employ your youth and your means, which ye now do waste in such purposeless wise, to study, that some day ye may be helpful to God and man and yourself; and let war alone, in which, as I do hear, ye have so great a delight; and before ye get a shrewd knock and find the truth of that saying, 'Young soldiers make old beggars.'" This predication I listened to with great impatience, for I was not used to hear the like: yet I shewed not how I felt, lest I should forfeit my reputation for politeness, but thanked him much for his straightforwardness and promised him to reflect upon his advice: yet thought I within myself, what did it concern the priest how I ordered my life; for just then I was at the height of my good fortune, and I could not do without those pleasures of dalliance I had once enjoyed. So is it ever with such warnings, when youth is unaccustomed to bit and bridle, and gallops hard away to meet destruction.

Chap. xx.: HOW HE GAVE THE FAITHFUL PRIEST OTHER FISH TO FRY, TO CAUSE HIM TO FORGET HIS OWN HOGGISH LIFE

Yet was I not so drowned in lust nor so dull as not to take care to keep all men's affection so long as I was minded to sojourn in that fortress, that is, till winter was over. And I knew well what trouble it might breed for a man if he should earn the ill will of the clergy, they being folk that in all nations, no matter of what religion they be, enjoy great credit; so I put on my considering cap, and the very next day I betook myself hot-foot to the said pastor, and told him in fine words such a heap of lies, how I had resolved to follow his advice, that he, as I could see from his carriage, was heartily rejoiced thereat.

"Yea," said I, "up till this time, yea and in Soest also, there was wanting for me nothing but such an angelic counsellor as I have found in your reverence. Were but the winter over, or at least the weather better, so that I could travel hence!" And thereafter I begged him to assist me with his advice as to which University I should attend. To that he answered, himself had studied in Leyden, but he would counsel to go to Geneva, for by my speech I must be from the High Germany. "Jesus Maria!" said I, "Geneva is farther from my home than Leyden." "Can I believe mine ears?" says he, "'tis plain your honour is a Papist! Great Heavens, how am I deceived!" "How so, Pastor?" said I, "must I be a Papist because I will not to Geneva?" "Nay," says he, "but ye do call upon the name of Mary!" "How," said I, "is't not well for a Christian to name the mother of his Redeemer?" "True," says he, "yet would I counsel your honour and beg of him as earnestly as I can to give honour to God only and further to tell me plainly to what religion he belongs, for I doubt much if he be Evangelical (though I have seen him every Sunday in my church), inasmuch as at this last Christmastide he came not to the table of the Lord neither here nor in the Lutheran church." "Nay," said I, "but your reverence knows well that I am a Christian: were I not, I had not been so oft at the preaching: but for the rest, I must confess that I follow neither Peter nor Paul, but do believe simply all that the twelve articles of the Christian faith do contain: nor will I bind myself to either party till one or the other shall bring me by sufficient proofs to believe that he, rather than the other, doth possess the one true religion of salvation." Thereupon, "Now," says he, "do I truly, and that for the first time, understand that ye have a true soldier's spirit, to risk your life here, there and everywhere, since ye can so live from day to day without religion or worship and can so risk your hope of eternal salvation! Great heaven," says he, "how can a mortal man, that must hereafter be damned or saved, so defy all? Your honour," says he, "was brought up in Hanau: hath he learned there no better Christianity than this? Tell me, why do ye not follow in the footsteps of your parents in the pure religion of Christ, or why will ye not betake yourself to this our belief, of which the foundations be so plain both in Holy Writ and nature that neither Papist nor Lutheran[[27]] can ever upset them."

"Your reverence," I answered, "so say all of their own religion: yet which am I to believe? Think ye 'tis so light a matter for me to entrust my soul's salvation to any one party that doth revile the other two and accuse them of false doctrine? I pray you to consider, with impartial eyes, what Conrad Vetter and Johannes Nas have written against Luther, and also Luther against the Pope, but most of all what Spangenberg hath written against Francis of Assisi, which for hundreds of years hath been held for a holy and God-like man, and all this in print. To which party shall I betake myself when each says of the other that 'tis unclean, unclean? Doth your reverence think I am wrong if I stay awhile till I have got me more understanding and know black from white? Would any man counsel me to plunge in like a fly into hot soup? Nay, nay, your reverence cannot upon his conscience do that! Without question one religion must be right and the other two wrong: and if I should betake myself to one without ripe reflection I might choose the wrong as easily as the right, and so repent of my choice for all eternity. I will sooner keep off the roads altogether than take the wrong one: besides, there be yet other religions besides these here in Europe, as those of the Armenians, the Abyssinians, the Greeks, the Georgians, and so forth, and whichsoever I do choose, then must I with my fellow believers deny all the rest. But if your reverence will but play the part of Ananias for me and open mine eyes, I will with thankfulness follow him and take up that religion to which he belongs."

Thereupon, "Your honour," says he, "is in a great error: but I pray God to enlighten him and help him forth of the slough; to which end I will hereafter so prove to him the truth of our Confession that the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." I answered I would await such with great anxiety: yet in my heart I thought, "If thou trouble me no more anent my lecheries, I will be content with thy belief."

And so can the reader judge what a godless, wicked rogue I then was: for I did but give the good pastor fruitless trouble, that he might leave me undisturbed in my vicious life, and thinks I, "Before thou art ready with thy proofs I shall belike be where the pepper[[28]] grows."

Chap. xxi.: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS ALL UNAWARES WAS MADE A MARRIED MAN

Now over against my lodging there dwelt a lieutenant-colonel on half-pay, and the same had a very fair daughter of noble carriage, whose acquaintance I had long desired to make. And though at the first she seemed not such an one as I could love and no other and cleave to her for ever, yet I took many a walk for her sake, and wasted many a loving look; who yet was so carefully guarded against me that never once could I come to speak with her as I would have wished, neither might boldly accost her: for I had no acquaintance with her parents, and indeed they seemed far too high placed for a lad of such low descent as I deemed myself to be. At the most I could approach her in the going in and out of church, and then would I take opportunity to draw near and with great passion would heave out a couple of sighs, wherein I was a master, though all from a feigned heart. All which she, on the other hand, received so coldly that I must well believe she was not to be fooled like any small burgher's daughter: and the more I thought how hard 'twould be for me to compass her love, the hotter grew my desire for her.

But the lucky star which first brought me to her was even that one which the scholars wear at a certain season, in everlasting remembrance of how the three wise men were by such a star led to Bethlehem, and I took it for a good omen that such a star led me to her dwelling also. For her father sending for me, "Monsieur," says he, "that position of neutrality which you do hold between citizens and soldiers is the cause why I have invited you hither: for I have need of an impartial witness in a matter which I have to settle between two parties." With that I thought he had some wondrous great undertaking in hand, for papers and pens lay on the table: so I tendered him my services for all honourable ends, adding thereto that I should hold it for a great honour indeed if I were fortunate enough to do him service to his liking. Yet was the business nothing more than this (as is the usage in many places), to set up a kingdom, being as 'twas the Eve of the Three Kings: and my part was to see that all was well and truly performed and the offices distributed by lot without respect of persons. And for this weighty concern (at which his secretary also was present) my colonel must have wine and confectionery served, for he was a doughty drinker and 'twas already past the time for supper. So then must the secretary write, and I read out the names, and the young lady draw the lots while her parents looked on: and how it all happened I know not, but so I made my first acquaintance in that house: and they complaining greatly how tedious were the winter nights, gave me to understand I should, to make them pass more easily, often visit them of evenings, for otherwise they had no great pastime: which was indeed the very thing I had of long time desired.