Chap. ix.: IN WHAT MANNER THE PAINS OF CHILD-BIRTH CAME UPON HIM, AND HOW HE BECAME A WIDOWER
Not long after this I did take my godfather with me, and ride into the Spessart to get certain news and certificate of my descent and noble birth; which I gat without difficulty from the book of baptisms and my godfather's witness: and presently thereafter visited the priest that had dwelt at Hanau and had taken care of me: which gave me a writing to declare where my late father had died, and that I had abode with him to his death and thereafter for a long time with Master Ramsay, the commandant at Hanau, under the name of Simplicissimus: yea, I had an instrument containing my whole history drawn up by a notary out of the mouth of witnesses; for I thought, "Who knoweth when thou wilt have need of it?" And this journey did cost me 400 thalers, for on my return I was captured by a party, dismounted, and plundered so that I and my dad or godfather came off naked and hardly with our lives.
Meanwhile things went ill at home: for as soon as my wife knew her husband was a nobleman she not only did play the great lady, but did neglect all housekeeping; which I bore in silence because she was big with child: moreover, misfortune came on my cattle and robbed me of my chiefest and best: all which 'twould have been possible to endure, but O Gemini! misfortunes came not singly: for even then while my wife was delivered, the maid was brought to bed likewise: and the child she bore was indeed like to me, but that which my wife had was so like to the farm-servant as it had been cut on the pattern of his face. Nay, more! for the lady of whom I writ above did in the same night cause one to be laid at my door with notice in writing that I was the father: and so did I get a family of three at once, and could not but expect that others would creep out of every corner, which caused me not a few grey hairs. But so will it fare with whoever doth follow his own bestial lusts in such a godless and wicked way of life as I had led.
And now what to do! I must have the baptism and be soundly punished by the magistrate: and the government being then Swedish, and I an old soldier of the emperor, the score was the heavier to pay: all which was but the preface to my complete ruination the second time. And although all these manifold disasters did greatly trouble me, yet my wife contrariwise took all lightly; yea, did mock at me day and night about the fine treasure that had been laid at my door and for which I had paid so dearly: yet had she but known how 'twas with me and the maid she would have plagued me yet worse: but that good creature was so complacent as to let herself be persuaded with as much money as I should other ways have been fined for her sake, to swear her child to a fop that had at times visited me the year before and had been at the wedding, but whom otherwise she knew not. Yet must she go a-packing, for my wife did suspect what I thought of her and the farm-servant, yet dared not hint thereat: for else had I proved to her that I could not at once be with her and with the maid. Yet all the while I was tormented with the thought that I must rear a child for my servant, and mine own sons should not be my heirs, and yet must I hold my peace and be glad that none else knew of it: and with such thoughts did I daily torment myself, while my wife revelled every hour in wine; for since our marriage she had so used herself to the bottle that 'twas seldom away from her mouth, and she herself scarce went to bed any night but half-drunk: by which means she robbed her child of its nourishment and so inflamed her inward parts that soon after they fell out, and so made me a widower the second time, which went so my heart that I wellnigh laughed myself into a sickness.
Chap. x.: RELATION OF CERTAIN PEASANTS CONCERNING THE WONDERFUL MUMMELSEE
So now did I find myself restored to mine ancient freedom, but with a purse pretty well emptied of gold, and yet a great household overburdened with cattle and servants. Therefore I took my foster-father Melchior to be as my father, and my foster-mother, his wife, to be my mother, and young bastard Simplicissimus that had been laid at my door I made my heir, and handed over to these two old people house and farm, together with all my property save a few yellow-boys and jewels that I had saved and kept hidden to meet extreme need: for now had I conceived such a loathing for the company and society of all women that I had determined, having fared so ill with them, never to marry again. So this old couple, which in matters rustic could hardly meet their likes for skill, presently arranged my housekeeping in different fashion. For they got rid of such cattle and servants as were of no use, and in their place had for the farm such as would bring profit. So my old dad and my mammy bade me be of good cheer, and promised if I would let them manage all to keep me ever a good horse in the stable and myself so well furnished that I could now and then drink my measure of wine with any honest companion. And presently I was ware of what manner of people now managed my estate: for my foster-father with the labourers tilled the ground, and bargained for cattle and wood and resin sharper than any Jew, while his wife gave herself to cattle-breeding and contrived to save the milk-penny and keep it better than ten such wives as I had had. In such wise my farmyard was in short space furnished with all needful implements and cattle small and great, so that soon 'twas esteemed one of the best in that country-side: and I meanwhile took my walks abroad and gave myself up to contemplations, for when I saw how my foster-mother earned more by her bees alone, in wax and honey, than my wife had gained from cattle, swine, and all the rest together, I could well conceive that in other matters she would not be caught napping.
Now it happened on a time that I took my walk in the spa, more for the sake of a draught of fresh water than, according to my former usage, to make acquaintance with the fops: for I had begun to imitate the thriftiness of my parents, who counselled me I should not much consort with folk that so wantonly wasted their own and their father's goods. Yet I joined myself to a company of men of moderate rank who even then were in discourse concerning a strange matter, namely, of the Mummelsee, which said they was bottomless, and which was situate on one of the highest mountains near by: and they had sent for several old peasants and would have them to tell all that one and the other had heard of this wondrous lake, to whose stories I hearkened with great delight, though I held them all to be as vain fables as be some of Plinius's tales.
For one said if any man should tie up an odd number of things such as peas or pebbles, or what not, in a kerchief, and let it down into the water, presently the number would be even. And if one should drop in an even number, at once it became odd. Others, and indeed the most part, declared, and confirmed what they said by examples, that if a man should throw in one or more stones, however fair the skies might be till then, at once there would arise a terrible storm with fearful rain, hail and hurricane. From that they came to all manner of strange histories that had happened there, and what wondrous appearances of earth- and water-spirits had there been seen and how they had talked with mankind. One told how on a time, as certain herdsmen were keeping cattle by the lake, there arose a brown ox out of the water that mixed with the other cattle, but there followed him a little mannikin to drive him back into the lake; who would not obey till the little man had sworn that if he did not come back he should suffer all the ills of human kind. At which words ox and man again sank into the lake. Another said it happened at a time when the lake was frozen over that a peasant, with his oxen and sundry trunks of trees, such as we hew planks out of, passed over the lake without harm; but when his dog would follow him the ice broke, and so the poor beast fell in and was never seen again. And yet another swore 'twas solemn truth that a huntsman following in the track of game was passing by the lake, and there saw a water-spirit sitting with a whole lapful of coined money and playing therewith; at whom when he would have shot, the spirit sank into the water, and cried, "Hadst thou but prayed me to help thee in thy trade, I would have made thee and thine rich for life."
Such and the like tales, which seemed to me all as fables with which we do amuse our children, did I hearken to, and never deemed it possible that there could be such a bottomless lake upon a high mountain. But there were other peasants, and those old and credible men, that affirmed that within their own and their father's memory high and princely persons had journeyed to behold the said lake, and that a reigning Duke of Würtemberg had caused a raft to be made, and had put out into the lake thereupon to sound its depth: but that after the measures had already let down nine thread-cables (which is a measure of length better understanded of the peasants' wives of the Black Forest than of me or any other geometer) with a sinking-lead, and yet had found no bottom, the raft, contrary to the nature of wood, began to sink, so that they that were upon it must perforce give up their purpose and make all haste to land, and so to this day can be seen the fragments of the raft on the shore of the lake, with the arms of Würtemberg and other matters carved upon the wood for a memorial of this history. Others called many witnesses to prove that a certain archduke of Austria had desired to drain the lake, but was by many dissuaded and at the petition of the people of the land the plan given up, for fear lest the whole country might be drowned and destroyed. Furthermore, the said noble princes had caused barrels full of trout to be put into the lake; all which in less than an hour died before their eyes and floated away through the outlet of the lake, notwithstanding that the stream that flows under the mountain on which the lake lies and through the valley that takes its name therefrom produces by nature such fish, and that the outlet of the lake is into the said stream.
Chap. xi.: OF THE MARVELLOUS THANKSGIVING OF A PATIENT, AND OF THE HOLY THOUGHTS THEREBY AWAKENED IN SIMPLICISSIMUS