| THERE'S an old superstition that it's bad
luck to be married in May; why not include
the other eleven months?
THE only contract a man considers so unimportant
that he will sign it without first
reading it over is the marriage contract.
A WOMAN whose husband gives her cause
for jealousy should not shed tears; she
should shed the husband.
A MAN is never really old until his rosy
hopes have turned gray and he has begun
to get wrinkles in his disposition.
A GOOD woman is known by what she
does; a good man by what he doesn't.
RICH men and their wives are soon parted;
matrimony plus money has such a way of
developing into alimony.
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| ONE way to a man's heart is through your
father's pocketbook.
LOVE is the sparkle in the wine; matrimony,
the headache that follows.
BETTER be a young man's slave than an
old man's nurse.
THERE is something about one cocktail
that makes a man want another the moment
he has swallowed it; and there is
something about one woman that makes a
man want another the moment he has
married her.
A MAN plays his part in his first love affair
as an actor plays his first star rôle
with fire and enthusiasm, but without
poise or method; later he becomes so technical
that he can make his pretty speeches
backward without a single thrill.
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| THE only common ground on which some
married people ever meet is the burying
ground.
LOVE is like a good dinner; the only way
to get any satisfaction out of it is to enjoy
it while it lasts, have no regrets when it is
over and pay the price with good grace.
HUSBANDS and wives may meet in
heaven—but some of them won't if they
see each other first.
THE hardest part about the "next morning"
is not the headache; it's the effort to recall
what particular story you told your wife
the night before.
POOR people don't have to economize on
love, kisses nor enthusiasm; and with
plenty of those one can cover all the bare
spots on the walls of poverty.
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FLATTER a husband a little and he will adore you; flatter him too much and he will soon begin to wonder why such a combination of Solomon and the Apollo Belvidere ever stooped to marry an insignificant little thing like you. IT'S the hours a woman spends making frocks that her husband never looks at, and the hours a man spends making jokes that his wife never laughs at, that make the matrimonial years drag so heavily. THE reason that a woman who takes the downward path has so much attention is that there are so many men going that way. A MAN makes a virtue of necessity when he prides himself on his devotion to a wife who is so fascinating that he can't help it. |
A MAN'S wife, like any other sort of stimulant, ceases to have that exhilarating effect after she has become a steady diet. NO MAN knows the shock that a woman receives when she finds that she has got to live up to a standard that is half angel and half cook. MEN declare they admire common sense in a woman; but a physical culturist with a perfect digestion and a thirty-inch waist hasn't a chance in the world against a foolish, unhealthy little thing in a French corset, a princess frock and open-work stockings. THE ultimate proof of a man's love is the self-restraint he shows when he allows a girl to run her fingers through his hair without putting up his hand to see if the part is still there. |