| A LITTLE knowledge makes a man a fool—but
it makes a woman suspicious.
THE best way to cure a man's love is to return
it with interest—and then watch him
lose the interest.
A MAN seldom escapes temptation because
he is so careful not to let any interesting
temptations escape him.
SELF-SACRIFICE is the soul of love, and
a real soul-mate is one who is willing to
get up and take the milk off the dumb-waiter,
wait until you have finished with
the morning paper and give you the seat
nearest the radiator.
IT must be awful to live with a man after you
have reformed him and he has become so
superlatively good that you don't feel superior
to him any more.
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| GOOD husbands are like tracts, comforting
but uninteresting; the other kind are like
dime novels, exciting, but apt to keep you
in a constant fever of dread, anticipation
and curiosity.
IF a woman were like a serial novel and a
man could read only one chapter at a time,
honeymoons would last forever.
A MAN doesn't demand common sense
from a woman; he is satisfied with incense.
WHEN a girl marries a man because he is
the best she can do it is the irony of fate
to have him blame her because they are ill-mated.
DAKOTA is the State that cuts a woman's
troubles in half—and kindly takes away
the better half.
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| WONDERFUL how soon after marriage
a man gets to look upon the morning
and evening kiss as one of his daily chores.
WHAT is the happiest state in life? Why,
Dakota, of course.
COLLEGE boys are addicted to cigarettes
and flirtations, bachelors to cigars and
sweethearts; it takes a married man to get
real joy out of anything so economical as
a pipe or a wife.
MARRIAGE is the "commencement exercise"
at which we take our diplomas in
love; thereafter, like the college graduate,
we begin to learn how little we know
about it all.
HALF the divorces are founded right on
the wedding journey, just as half of indigestion
is founded on too much sugar.
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| WHAT do they know—about one another
that makes every man who kisses a girl
warn her so darkly and impressively not
to trust any of the others?
POVERTY is only a relative affair, after
all; it is X minus the things you want.
HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon
tea, as far as the dearth of men is
concerned.
FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the
ones that express a woman's age—or the
time a man gets home at night.
A MAN'S favorite way of answering a
woman's accusations is to tell her how
pretty she looks when she gets excited.
MATRIMONY is the price of love—divorce,
the rebate.
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| WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it
makes a hollow sound.
THE woman who is wedded to an art and
also to a man pays the full penalty for that
kind of bigamy.
IN the love game nobody knows exactly what
he wants; but a wise man tries to get what
he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries
to think she wants what she gets.
A MAN isn't as curious as a woman—because
usually a woman tells him everything
before he has a chance to become
curious.
THE only original thing about some men is
original sin. HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony. |