COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out the divine fire of a man's love. LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of selfishness, seasoned with passion, spiced with jealousy and covered with thin layers of sentiment. A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is likely to hoot at them. A MAN always remembers a girl's first kiss the longest—because usually that's the only one he had any trouble in getting. TO keep a man's interest at high pressure deal yourself out to him in homœopathic doses; one only wants more of anything that one cannot get enough of.

THOSE who have tried matrimony, like those who have finished with the morning paper, always say, "There's nothing in it;" but somehow that never keeps the rest of us from wanting to see for ourselves. WONDER if it never occurs to the woman who marries a man to reform him that the sort of person who is headstrong enough to have made a "past" for himself isn't likely to sit quietly by and let somebody else carve out his future for him. IT is so much easier for some men to go to the devil for a woman than to go to work for her. ALAS that the fever of love should so often be followed by a chill! IN THE modern love affair woman proposes, God disposes and man—just dozes.

A MAN doesn't need to swear at a woman in order to express his opinion of her; he can shut the front door behind him in the morning so that it sounds just like a "damn!" BY a man's vows of devotion ye shall not know him; the lover who promises a girl a life of roses is usually the one who allows her to pick off all the thorns for herself. MAN is such a paradox that a woman is forced to make him believe that she doesn't take him seriously—or she won't get a chance to take him at all. A MAN cannot keep his grouch and his friends at the same time. THE woman who marries a dandy soon discovers that a thing of beauty is not necessarily a joy forever.


A MAN never selects a wife with any judgment or reason, because by the time he has reached the marrying fever all judgment and reason have fled. IT IS a wise fool who rushes in and a fool angel who fears to tread when it comes to love making; the woman who can't be coaxed can always be captured. IT MAY not be immoral for a girl to say "damn," but it affects a man just as it would to hear a dove or a canary bird shrieking like a parrot. A MAN in the act of putting his wife on the train for her summer vacation feels like the bad boy who has just heard the bell clang for recess; he doesn't know exactly what he is going to do, but he knows it will be something against the rules and hence very fascinating.

IT'S awfully hard for a girl, with her mind all made up and her thoughts at the altar, to sit silently by and wait for the love idea to penetrate the thick layers of resistance that cover the masculine brain. AS long as Satan can make a woman believe that it is possible to reform a rake and make a roué over into a doting husband the ladies will keep his majesty's business running. IF anything could make a woman willing to exchange her curves for a little muscle it would be that maddening, "There, there, now!" attitude with which the average man greets her righteous wrath. MANY a man would be dumbfounded if he should discover that the ideal in his wife's heart didn't have a double chin, a bald spot and turned-in toes just like himself.