NO MAN is a really artistic lover who hasn't enough dramatic instinct to forget all other women while he is making love to one. IF it weren't for the tiresome wedding journey and the monotonous honeymoon, bridal couples could begin being happy right away. EVEN though the dulcet iciness in her voice ought to be more effective than a shriek of warning, a man will go right on telling his stout, blondeblonde wife that she ought to dress like the slim brunette next door. THERE is something about a wife's tears that washes all the color and starch out of a man's love. WHEN married people can't come to terms marriage should come to a termination.


THE longest way round matrimony is the shortest way to happiness. THE reason a man is so often tempted is because most of the time that is what he is sitting around waiting for. FROM the stony silence into which the average husband sinks after the honeymoon there must be something almost unspeakable about matrimony. A WOMAN looks upon her first kiss as a consecration; a man regards it as a desecration. TIME and tide wait for no man, but the untied woman has to wait for any man who chooses to keep her waiting. IN fashionable circles one wife and a dog constitute a "family."


IT MAY be very noble of a man to have no secrets from the woman he loves, but it's rather hard on all the other women he has gotten over loving. A MAN who can marry the right girl and won't marry her somehow always ends by being made to marry the wrong one. MANY a good husband hasn't the nerve or the courage to be anything else. WIDOWS have all the honors without any of the trials of matrimony; a live husband is sometimes a necessity, but a dead one is a real luxury. MANY a man's idea of a wife is something decorative to be kept around the house and only taken out on show occasions like the jewels in his safe and the horses in his racing stable.

IN olden times sacrifices were made at the altar—a custom which is still continued. OF course every woman knows that the man she loves is a "brute"—but unfortunately that is one of the reasons why she loves him. THE kind of woman who holds a man's devotion forever is like a silky, self-satisfied Angora cat who takes her petting as a matter of course, never returns it, and never gets on his nerve by asking for more. IT isn't so much a man's sins and failings, but the air of conscious pride with which he accepts her comments on them that a woman can't forgive. THAT will be a great novel in which the author can make the man who owns the machine as fascinating as the chauffeur.

EVERY man honestly believes that franchise in the hands of a woman is like a loaded gun in the hands of a small boy—utterly useless and sure to do damage to somebody. WAD some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as men's mothers see us—but it wouldn't make us happy. ONE reason why a dainty little thing like a woman wastes her love on man-creature with a rough chin, stubbly hair and a smell of tobacco about his clothes is that he is the only thing in that line. A MAN will forgive a woman for almost any indiscretion sooner than for leaving her hair in the comb and for breaking the Ten Commandments sooner than for leaving her hot curling tongs where his fingers can get on them.