STRANGE, how joyfully a man will pay a lawyer five hundred dollars for untying the knot that he begrudged paying a clergyman fifty dollars for tying. WHEN a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one. IT gives a girl silver threads among the gold to marry her ardent admirer and find out afterward that she has tied herself to a life-critic. AS FAR as men are concerned, a woman's reputation for brains is worse than no reputation at all. ALAS, if husbands were only like sewing machines, and we could have them sent up on trial! |
| KISSING a girl, without first telling her
that you love her, is as small and mean as
letting a salesman take you for a free ride
in an automobile when you have no intention
of buying it.
DIVORCE is the "Great Divide," over
which many men think they will pass into
Heaven.
A MAN can never be made to understand
why a woman will pay fifty dollars for
a hat containing ten dollars worth of material
and forty dollars worth of style.
YOUTH will be youth; a young man chases
temptation, folly, and chorus girls as naturally
as a kitten chases its tail.
FLINGING yourself at a man's head is like
flinging a bone at a cat; it doesn't fascinate
him, it frightens him. |
MEN say they admire a woman with high ideals and principles; but it's the kind with high heels and dimples that a wife hesitates to introduce to her husband. MARRIAGE is the black coffee that a man takes to settle him after the love-feast. LOVE is the feeling that makes a man turn on the hot water when he meant to light the gas, go hunting for a collar when what he wanted was a pair of socks, shave every day, and forget whether or not he has had any lunch. HAPPINESS is at high-tide at the full of the honeymoon. SOMEHOW, a man who has been thrown over always lands on his knees to another girl. |
| A CONFIRMED bachelor girl is one who
hasn't married—yet. TOO many "flames" dry up the well-spring of love. IT IS difficult for an old horse to learn new tricks—but an old man hasn't sense enough not to try. THE tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. NEVER worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again. A RICH girl need not bother to cultivate the art of conversation in order to be fascinating. Her money will do the talking. |
| NOTHING can exceed the grace and tenderness
with which men make love—in
novels—, except the off-hand commonplaceness
with which they do it in real life.
ABOUT the only sign of personal individuality
that the average woman is allowed
to retain after she marries is her toothbrush.
THERE are just three brands of masculine
affection: platonic, which is love without
kisses; plutonic, which is kisses without
love, and kisses WITH love—which is almost
extinct.
OF course women should marry; no home
is complete without a husband any more
than it is without a cuckoo clock or a cat.
"HOME" is any four walls that enclose the
right person. |