NO MAN can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. THE original fox was a man and the original grapes were the girls he couldn't kiss. A MAN'S desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. IT isn't the girls whom he has loved and lost that a man sighs for; it's those whom he has loved and never won. LAZY men fancy that the wheel of life is a roulette wheel, on which fortunes are won only by chance. EVERY time a woman gives a man a piece of her mind she loses a piece of his heart.

WHEN a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. A MAN never marries when he ought to; he waits until some woman comes along and gets him so tangled up that he has to. THE shortest way to Heaven or to Hell is via the Love Route, Limited. IT MAY be bad form for a man to pay his wife compliments and call her pet-names in the presence of other women, but it's awfully good policy. MANY a foolish runaway match has been prevented by the fact that a girl didn't have on her best silk stockings at the critical moment.

REMORSE is the feeling a man has when the bottle is empty or he has tired of the girl. HUSBANDS are like Christmas gifts: you can't choose them; you've just got to sit down and wait until they arrive and then appear perfectly delighted with what you get. THE beauty of variety in love or wine is that the moment a man discovers a new brand or a new girl, he forgets all about the others and honestly believes that he is tasting the real thing for the first time. MATRIMONY should not be a prison but a privilege, and husbands and wives should not be jailors but jolliers. THAT lump which a man feels in his throat when he is about to propose is the "don't" lump.

A MAN may read everything that ever was written about women and yet not know enough to avoid asking his wife a question when her mouth is full of pins. THE oftener a man falls in love, the more easily and gracefully he does it; exercise seems to keep the heart in good working condition. IT IS always a surprise to a woman when her husband sues for $200,000 for the alienation of her affections, which he never seemed to consider worth two cents. MATRIMONY is a revolving door, round which husband and wife follow one another without ever meeting on the same side of any question. MARRYING an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

LOVE always must end sooner or later—usually sooner than the girl expected and later than the man intended. THE woman who insists on playing Solitaire in conversation is likely to end by playing Old Maid. FROM the number of virtues and accomplishments that a man expects to find in one wife, you'd fancy he was marrying a harem. DON'T worry for fear you may freeze a man's love out; the colder the wind you blow upon it, the higher you fan the flames. THE saddest thing about married life is the opportunity it gives two otherwise agreeable people for telling one another the disagreeable truth.