| THERE never was a man big and strong
enough to get out his clean shirt and collar
and fix the water for his bath.
IT'S when the game becomes a trifle stale
that a man begins to feel conscientious
qualms about flirting with a woman.
THE woman who pins her faith to a man
won't find a safety-pin strong enough to
stand the strain.
IN love, the best way to erase one face from
the tablet of memory is to draw another
across it.
A MAN'S ideal woman is the one he
couldn't get. A MAN may feel like a brute at taking a kiss from a nice girl—but it isn't until after he's gotten the kiss. |
| WHY should matrimony interfere with
pleasure in this day of self-rocking
cradles, self-cooking ranges—and self-supporting
wives?
MOST men write a love-letter as cautiously
as though they were writing for publication,
or fame, or posterity.
THE man who breaks his social engagements
with you before marriage, will break
everything from his word to your heart,
afterward.
PLATONIC friendship is a ship that starts
for Nowhere and nearly always ends by
being wrecked in the port of Love.
TO a man, marriage means giving up four
out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a
woman, giving up four out of five of her
opinions.
|
| A MAN'S conscience is like his head; it
never bothers him until "the morning
after."
A MAN'S shoulders are not always as broad
as they're padded.
MEN say they hate anything loud about a
woman; it must be disgust that makes
them always turn around to stare after a
peroxide blonde.
THE saddest sight on earth is an old bachelor
trying to sew on a button with a blunt
needle and a piece of string.
THERE are some men who, before marriage,
will risk their lives to pick up your
parasol from in front of a whizzing automobile
who wouldn't get off the sofa after
marriage to pick up anything you might
drop, from a hint, to a baby.
|
| A HUSBAND gets so used to his wife's
conversation that after a while it doesn't
interrupt his reading of the newspaper any
more than the plunking in the steam pipes.
OF course men admire a circumspect
woman above all things, but they seldom
invite her out to supper.
NOTHING bores a man worse than the devotion
of the girl before the last.
IT'S rather sad to see how easily a man gets
"that tired feeling" after a love affair has
become a bit stale.
A MAN may send you a gold-handled umbrella
with your monogram on it in diamonds
and mean nothing but good-fellowship,
but if he offers to put it up and carry
it over you for fear the mist will spoil your
feathers you may be sure he's in love.
|
LOVE letters lead to all sorts of complications, but post cards tell no tales. ASKING a girl if you may kiss her before doing it is an insulting way of laying all the responsibility on her. A MARRIED man thinks that if he concedes to smooth his top hair and carry a cane he is sufficiently dressy to go out anywhere with his wife. BRIDEGROOMS have that sheepish look because every one of them is morally certain that he is a lamb being led to the slaughter. A WIFE sort of loses her awe and admiration for men after she has seen her husband without a collar and with his face covered with shaving lather and his top hair sticking up in tufts. |