Read now his libellous words, my Daughter, and ponder thereon; for he hath known much girl:
“Verily, verily, in all the world, there be but two things which have power to disconcert me.
“A Meerschaum Pipe is one of these.
“The other is a woman.
“And, so like is the first unto the second, that I doubt not the former is but a reincarnation of the latter.
“Lo, I have colored upward of twenty meerschaums, and have made love unto upward of seven hundred damsels. And I say unto thee, not one of them hath been worth the struggle nor repaid the toil and travail.
“Behold, how a man purchaseth a meerschaum at great price.
“Behold, how he wooeth a woman at great expense.
“How joyfully he flingeth away his shekels that they may be covered with silver and fine gold!
“How tenderly he encaseth them in velvet!