Three Toasts.
When the Earl of Stair was ambassador in Holland he was once at a banquet with the French and Austrian ambassadors. The Frenchman proposed the health of his master, calling him, “The Sun.” The Austrian then proposed the health of his mistress, calling her “The Moon.” The Earl of Stair was equal to the occasion, for when his turn came he proposed the health of his sovereign as “Joshua, who made the sun and moon to stand still.”
Going to Sleep in Church.
A Scotch clergyman had a youth in his congregation who was underwitted, and was commonly spoken of as being half daft. One Sunday the clergyman observed that all his hearers were asleep except this youth. After the service the minister congratulated him upon being awake, when he naively replied, “Maybe if I hadn’t been half daft I would have been asleep too.”
Striking Back.
A little girl complained to her brother that a boy had struck her. “Why did you not strike back?” he asked. “O,” said the innocent creature, “I did that before he hit me.”
Outlines to be Turned into Narratives.
