As Ike was no wiser than he was before, and he could not wait to investigate the point any further, he proceeded: "At any rate, his client came inter Puddleford, and had been one of the fust 'mong 'em ever sin'. He warn't goin' to repeat what he said afore the court below, now, he would wait 'til he summ'd up. He warn't goin' to say nothin' 'bout the unspotted character of his client; he warn't goin' to say nothin' 'bout the defendant nuther. He warn't a-goin' to say how she would lie, nor how she went around a-backbitin' everybody she could get a dab at; there were twenty persons within the sound of his voice that know'd that—that know'd the woman like a book."
"Yes, sir-ee!" exclaimed a voice from the crowd, being one of Filkins' supporters.
"Silence!" roared the court.
"You hear that, don't you, gentlemen? They know her like a book."
"No! he warn't goin' to say anythin' 'bout the defendant now. He might say enough 'bout her to blow her sky-high; perhaps she wouldn't steal, he didn't think she would, but folks who do lie, will steal; but she hadn't stole nothin' yet, as he know'd on; he warn't goin' to say so 'tany rate;" and thus Ike rambled on for more than an hour before the jury, in the opening of his cause, touching upon almost everything connected with the rise of Puddleford, and closed by saying, "That they only claimed ten dollars damages; but 'twern't the money they were arter; 'twas the great principle; his client scorned money as pay for her character; she'd never touch a cent on't so long as her name was Filkins—and he might as well say that he, as her counsel, had 'vised her to give every jot on't to some religus institution, or to orphin children, and she'd do it too—catch her takin' that money!"
Bates occupied about as much time as Turtle did in opening for the defence; the law permitting both counsel to open together, if they chose to do so; and he finished his speech by reading Squire Longbow's return to the jury, which he said was more full than anything he could say.
The trial went forward. But I shall not attempt to detail the vicissitudes which accompanied it for two days. Every question and every answer was objected to, and entered by the court formally on the record. The lie was given backward and forward a dozen times or more; the court had often been obliged to interfere through the sheriff—all the witnesses on the part of the plaintiff were impeached by the defendant's witnesses, who swore their reputation for truth and veracity was bad, and that they would not believe them under oath; all the witnesses on the part of the defendant were also impeached for the same reason. Of course the reputation of the witnesses had been utterly destroyed before the trial came on, and long before, by each backbiting the other; and when the trial closed, and the arguments were ended, the case, if it could have been painted, would have looked very much like a militia training, without beginning, middle, or end, form or substance, and the jury were about as wise as if they just awoke from a hard nightmare.
The court charged the jury—and such a charge was never "fired off" by any man outside of a new country.
Some hundred "p'ints of la'" had been handed up by Turtle and Bates, which they said must be noticed—but Turtle's law and Bates's law were in conflict—but each one declared that his law was the law—and they were, they said, ready, if necessary, to swear to it before any tribunal.
The judge went off with his charge upon the same principle that a man fires an old musket into a tree, where he supposes a bird is concealed. Some of the shot must hit, and the rest won't do any harm, anyhow.