N.B.—This advertisement will be inserted in this morning’s Paper only.
A suspicious person would have fancied that the friends of J. R. C., unless they were dissimilar from other friends, would have used the information for their own benefit—but generous and self-abnegating people do turn up in history in the most unexpected and unaccountable ways. Another specimen of the secret and honourable kind, though in it the secrecy and honour have to be on the side of the advertiser, follows. It is in the Morning Post, April 18, 1780, and runs thus:—
ANY Lady whose Situation may require a Temporary Retirement, may be accommodated agreeable to her wishes in the house of a Gentleman of eminence in the Profession, where honour and secrecy may be depended on, and where every vestige of Pregnancy is obliterated; or any Lady who wishes to become Pregnant may have the causes of sterility removed in the safest manner. Letters (Post-paid) addressed to A. B. No. 23, Fleet Street, will be attended to.
A. B. offers a double convenience, the second item in which is well worthy of note. The house must have been somewhat similar, except that the accommodation was for human beings, to those establishments advertisements in connection with which frequently appear in the sporting and agricultural papers. Much about the same date as the specimen just quoted appears another of quite a different kind, inserted in several journals. It is rather unique as a way of reminding customers that life is short and debt is long, and is suspiciously sartorial:—
To whom it may Concern.
RICHARD Guy returns thanks to all his good old Friends for their kind Recommendation, which he will always acknowledge with gratitude, by being ready to oblige them on all occasions, but earnestly desires to settle Accounts, to pay and to be paid; which he hopes will be of satisfaction to both parties; for as it is fully observed, short Reckonings keep long Friends; so to preserve good friendship and prevent disputes in Accompts, he always pays ready Money, that is doing as he would be done unto.
N.B.—He courts neither Honour nor Riches, his whole and sole motive being to serve his good old Friends; the sin of Ingratitude he utterly abhors.
The shameless manner in which sinecures in Government offices were bought and sold even so late as 1781 is shown by the following specimen advertisement, which is taken from the Morning Herald of September 22:—
A GENTLEMAN of Character who wishes for some Employ under Government merely for the sake of Amusement, would be willing to advance any Nobleman or Gentleman the sum of Three Thousand Pounds, upon Mortgage, upon legal Interest, provided the Mortgager will, thro’ his Interest, procure a place in any genteel Department, where the emoluments are not less than two or three hundred Pounds per annum. The Advertiser flatters himself this will not be deemed an ineligible Offer, if compared with the present mode of raising Money upon Annuities; as a gentleman must be obliged to grant five hundred per annum out of his income to raise the like Sum. If any Gentleman who may be inclined to answer this Advertisement does not know of any Vacancy, the Advertiser will point out several, which may be easily procured by interest. A line addressed to S. X. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, St Paul’s, will be attended to. Secrecy may be depended on. No Broker will be treated with.
Those were happy times, indeed, when no such vulgar thing as merit was allowed to interfere with a man’s upward progress in life, provided he possessed capital, which could always secure him good interest in more ways than one. Money was at full value then, and the following, from the Morning Post of October 18, 1781, is one among many endeavours to obtain it in larger or smaller quantities:—