MY WIFE HAD AN ULCER
On her Leg
Thirteen years,
Caused by various veins
Extending from her ancle to her knee.
Some places eaten away
To the bone.
I have employed
Over twenty eminent physicians
At vast expense,
But all attempts at cure
Proved utterly abortive
Until I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,
Which the Doctors told me
Was humbug.
But humbug or not
It has done the work complete
In less than one month,
Removing the pain
At first application.
I kept her leg wet
With PAIN PAINT constantly
Till healed.
I wish we had more humbugs as useful
As Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.
I am well known in this city,
And any person
Can make further inquiry
At 101 West Street, New York,
At the Hanover House
Of which I am proprietor.
And I think I can satisfy
All as to the benefit
Derived by the use of PAIN PAINT.
May 12, 1868. PETER MINCK.
There are many advertisements from Hamilton, Wolcott, and various other “professors” still before us, but with the foregoing we will conclude, and leave the curious to search the American journals for themselves. Those who like to take the trouble will find in them an inexhaustible mine of wealth. The reflection naturally arises in the minds of readers, that the Americans cannot, after all, be such a wonderfully smart nation, to allow an almost countless horde of quacks and impostors to batten on them, and to make large fortunes even in the face of the tremendous sums they have to pay for advertisements.
Extensive as our Colonies are, and numerous and excellent as are the newspapers published in them, the advertisements of the present day may be said with justice to offer no distinctive features whatever. With the exception of the names of streets and towns, the trade and other notices are just the same as appear in the home journals; and even the cries which now and again go up from the Australian papers for missing relatives are paralleled by similar advertisements constantly appearing in our own metropolis. We have, though, two or three quaint old specimens which have been lighted upon at rare intervals, and more because it would be unfair to pass over our extensive dependencies without mention than for any other reason we offer them to the consideration of the reader. The first is nearly eighty years old, and is copied verbatim from a Jamaica paper of the period:—
Kingston, March 7, 1795.
HALF-A-JOE REWARD.
WALKED away, about a Month ago, a Negro Wench, named Prudence; she is of the Eboe Country, a yellow Complexion, round chubby Face, goggle or full Eyes, has lost several of her fore Teeth, is short, lively, and active, a great Thief, speaks quick and tolerable good English; is one of the black Parson Lisle’s Congregation; she is marked on both Shoulders and the left Cheek R. L.; had a Collar about her Neck, Chain and Lock, as a Punishment for her trying to entice a Man away the second Time; she is capable of very great Deception; she lards almost every Word with “plase God,” or some pious Expression, and will thieve at the same Time.
It is likely she will endeavour to pass as free; she formerly belonged to Mary Roberts, and lately to Sarah Osborn; she has been twenty Years in the Town of Kingston, and about fourteen Months in the Country. When she left Kingston she secreted a Quantity of her Clothes with some of her Tribe; if gone there, she will be able to change her Dress. Is well acquainted in Spanish-town, and many other Parts of the Island; she possesses a great Share of the “holy Goggle,” that is, throwing up her Eyes, and calling upon everything that is sacred, even when stolen Goods have been found upon her. She lately ran away, and was taken up. Whoever apprehends her a second Time, and lodges her in any Workhouse or Gaol in this Island, shall be entitled to the above Reward, and all reasonable Charges, on Application to Linwood and Nicoll, Merchants, in Kingston; or the Subscriber, at Wakefield, in Cedar Valley, St. George’s.
ROBERT LOOSELY.
N.B. All Masters of Vessels are hereby cautioned against carrying her off; and all Persons found harbouring her, will be prosecuted with the utmost Rigour of the Law.