This lady was modest as well as candid and sincere; it is to be hoped she was pretty also, or else she had small chance. But now comes not virtue but honours in distress, and sufficiently hungry to be satisfied with very dirty pudding. In our own times baronets have seen unpleasantnesses; we remember one who used to do casual reporting, fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, &c., and another who took to the stage, unsuccessfully. But he who advertised in the Daily Advertiser of January 23, 1776, was worse off than any titled successor. Judge for yourselves:—
MATRIMONY.
For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.
A BARONET of Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance, will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her; his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage, even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be depended on.
It is noticeable that “the Baronet,” like those of his rank already referred to, was not above turning his hand to earn an honest penny. A little way back we invited the attention of Conservatives to an edifying extract; may we now dedicate the baronet’s appeal to those who would abolish the laws of primogeniture? Let them be advised in time, unless they should wish to see a duke reduced to despondency, or an earl holding horses for his living. No matter what happens to younger sons. Let them and their younger sons be swallowed up in the middle and lower classes, as they are now, though nobody seems to notice it; but let us preserve, no matter who else suffers, our titled aristocracy in its present exalted position. But what is to become of the scions of nobility who have no claim upon landed estate, when nepotism ceases to exist, sinecures are abolished, and all Government clerkships are matter of open competition! Frankly we do not know, but doubtless Providence will always be tenderly disposed towards persons of good family. Turning once more to the Morning Post (February 15, 1776), we come upon an announcement the merits of which are hard to determine. It promises rather too much:—
FEMALE COMPANION.
A LADY of independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if, in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of the other; in a word, a single faux pas will be no objection, provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B. D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of Pleasure need apply.
There seems more of the procuress than the patron about this; still there is no knowing what the taste of an elderly single lady who fancied herself injured by the opposite sex would not lead her to do. So leaving the question open, and trusting the reader will be able to satisfy himself as to the purity or the reverse of the advertiser’s motives, we will pass on to Lloyd’s Evening Post, in which, about the same time, we find the following, which is worthy of notice:—
MONEY wanted—when it can be procured—£100. No security can be given for the Principal, and possibly the Interest may not be punctually paid. Under the above circumstances should any one be found willing to lend the desired Sum, he will much surprise, and particularly oblige the author of this advertisement.—Direct for A. B. C. George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.
Even the “author” of this, confident and assured as he must be generally, seems to doubt the readiness of people to part with their money without some inducement, no matter how slight. If A. B. C. had offered something impossible of fulfilment in return for the desired loan, he would very likely have had many applications, whereas it would be hard to believe that in the present instance he had even one. Now, if he had adopted a plan similar to that which is advertised in the Morning Chronicle of April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better chance of raising the wind. This must have arrested the attention and diverted the current of pocket-money of many young lovers:—