Yet was he delighted with the English people and with English life. His was one of those receptive natures which enjoy whatever is wholesome and sunny. In spite of his bodily pain, he entertained a lively hope of coming out of it in the spring, and did not realize his true condition. He merely said, “I have overworked myself, and must lay by or I shall break down altogether.” He meant to remain in London as long as his welcome lasted, and when he perceived a falling off in his audience, would close his season and go to the continent. His receipts averaged about three hundred dollars a night, whilst his expenses were not fifty dollars. “This, mind you,” he used to say, “is in very hard cash, an article altogether superior to that of my friend Charles Reade.”
Artemus Ward
His idea was to set aside out of his earnings enough to make him independent, and then to give up “this mountebank business,” as he called it. He had a great respect for scholarly culture and personal respectability, and thought that if he could get time and health he might do something “in the genteel comedy line.” He had a humorous novel in view, and a series of more aspiring comic essays than any he had attempted.
Often he alluded to the opening for an American magazine, “not quite so highfalutin as the Atlantic nor so popular as Harper’s.” His mind was beginning to soar above the showman and merrymaker. His manners had always been captivating. Except for the nervous worry of ill-health, he was the kind-hearted, unaffected Artemus of old, loving as a girl and liberal as a prince. He once showed me his daybook in which were noted down over five hundred dollars lent out in small sums to indigent Americans.
“Why,” said I, “you will never get half of it back.”
“Of course not,” he said, “but do you think I can afford to have a lot of loose fellows black-guarding me at home because I wouldn’t let them have a sovereign or so over here?”
There was no lack of independence, however, about him. The benefit which he gave Mrs. Jefferson Davis in New Orleans, which was denounced at the North as toadying to the Rebels, proceeded from a wholly different motive. He took a kindly interest in the case because it was represented to him as one of suffering, and knew very well at the time that his bounty would meet with detraction.
He used to relate with gusto an interview he once had with Murat Halstead, who had printed a tart paragraph about him. He went into the office of the Cincinnati editor, and began in his usual jocose way to ask for the needful correction. Halstead resented the proffered familiarity, when Artemus told him flatly, suddenly changing front, that he “didn’t care a d—n for the Commercial, and the whole establishment might go to hell.” Next day the paper appeared with a handsome amende, and the two became excellent friends. “I have no doubt,” said Artemus, “that if I had whined or begged, I should have disgusted Halstead, and he would have put it to me tighter. As it was, he concluded that I was not a sneak, and treated me like a gentleman.”