(Enter Singleton Coddle, door R.)
Coddle (book in hand, from which he reads.) “Deafness is one of the most distressing afflictions which can attack mankind.” Ah! distressing indeed! How true! how profoundly true!
Jane (shouts in his ear). A letter for you, sir. (Holds it before his eyes.)
Coddle. Ah, Jane! you here? And Eglantine too. (Takes letter.) You needn’t stick letters into my eye, Jane: you only need tell me you have them. (Sits.)
Eglantine. Possibly another offer for me. If I could only manage to peep over his shoulder!
Jane. No need, miss. He’s sure to read it out. He can’t never hear his own voice, and don’t know but he’s reading to himself. He thinks out loud too; and I knows every thing he has on his mind. It’s quite a blessing, really.
Coddle. (Puts on glasses; catches sight of Eglantine.) Tut, tut, Eglantine! Go away, child. This is for me, not you. Ten to one it’s confidential too! (Crosses left, and reads aloud.) “My dear Coddle, I flatter myself I have found a son-in-law to your taste at last,—a nephew of mine, young, well educated, brilliant, and rich. Yours truly, Pottle.”
Jane. Didn’t I tell you so, miss?
Coddle. Ah! all very well, all very well, friend Pottle; but not the man for me.