Jane. There, miss, just what I told ye.
Eglantine. I shall be in despair; I shall go crazy.
Jane. Easy, miss, easy. Don’t go into no tantrums. For mercy’s sake, calm yourself.
Eglantine. Calm myself! When life is the same dull round day after day! Calm myself! When I never see even a strange cat! Calm myself! Oh, I cannot endure it! (Exit R., furious.)
Jane (carrying out the vase). Poor young critter! Her pa ain’t got no sense.—Ugh! you old yaller dog! (Exit L.)
Coddle. Ah! deafness is indeed a distressing affliction. (Shakes his head. A pause.) Still every cloud has its silver side. Without my deafness I never could have survived the conversation—God forgive me!—of my poor dear wife. It killed her; for, finding me providentially beyond her reach, her loquacity struck in, and—there she was. But now an inscrutable Providence has taken her from me, (Sighs deeply) it would console me to hear a little. The doctors say they can do nothing. Ignorant rascals! I wrote to a fellow who advertises to cure deafness instantaneously by electro-acoustico magnetism, and the impudent impostor hasn’t taken the trouble to answer. The whole world seems determined to thwart me. (Takes book again, and reads.) “In treating deafness, it should first be ascertained whether the tympanum be thickened or perforated, and whether also the minute bones of the auricular organ are yet intact.” (Sticks little finger in his ear.) I think they’re all right. (Reads.) “And, further, be certain that the Eustachian tube is free from obstruction.” I wonder whether my Eustachian tube is obstructed. I must get Jane to look. I wonder where she is. Jane! (Rings. Enter Jane L.; drops flower-pot.) Jane!
Jane. He don’t hear nothing. It’s quite a pleasure to smash things when he’s round.
Coddle. Jane!
Jane (picks up pieces). Bah! who cares for you? I’ll answer when I’m ready.
Coddle. Jane!